the {{screaming *penguin}}

वाल मार्ट

2008-01-02T10:09:00.000-06:00

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing Football; see how many people you can get to join in.

8. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone,"I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.

11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to 10

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this crap, anyway?"

17. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.

18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"

20. Put M&M's on layaway.

21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

24. Nonchalantly test the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"

26. TP as much of the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell hello upside down.

29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"

31. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

33. Take bets on the battle described above.

34. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!!)

35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.

36. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.

37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

40. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

42. Set up a Valet Parking sign in front of the store.

43. Two words: "Marco Polo."

44. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle,etc.

45. Re-alphabetize the CD's in Electronics.

47. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like the fat man walks alone, and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them

48. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.

49. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"

50. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.

51. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

52. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good Bessie."

53. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putting one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.

54. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something,quickly make off with it without saying a word.

55. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.

56. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

57. Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from the other aisles.

59. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

60. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

61. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.

62. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

63. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

64. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

65. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"

66. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"

67. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a test drive.

68. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

70. Get an empty book, and say it's a guest book. Get people to sign.

71. Play a game of indoor freeze tag

72. Drive around the entrances screaming out the window the British are coming

73. Have a team race with your friends- one person sits in the cart, the other pushes

74. Go to the checkout and buy a bar of candy. Repeat, going to the same cash register, until the clerk notices

75. Fill your cart up as much as possible, and then try to use the express lane

76. Use a bullhorn and occasionally say that there is free candy in aisle X
77. Run into a pyramid of cans, heroically saying "I'm gonna save us from that bomb!"

78. Use a conveyer belt as a treadmill and lose some weight

79. Grab heavy but not too heavy objects, and see who can throw them the most aisles over.

81. Randomly direct people to the deodorant section

82. Tell someone that you will sue for false advertising, since they do not sell walls.

86. Go to the gun section, saying "Can I buy a gun? I'm tired of that stupid smiley face!"

87. Buy expensive stuff, go home and use white-out and a pen to change the price to something much lower, and the total much higher, then return and demand a refund.

88. See how much stuff you can break before you get caught

90. Repeatedly say "The clowns are not eating me."

91. Use fake checks, but sign them using your neighbors name.

92. Rearrange items as you see fit.

93. Take a full set of guy's clothes and a full set of gal's clothes, then leave them lying somewhere.

97. Grab stickers that say radioactive and put them randomly on food items.

98. Follow someone until they notice

100. Loiter. When asked to leave, tell them you live here.

मेस्सिं विथ थे पिज्ज़ा मन

2007-10-03T11:42:00.000-06:00

Translation: "Messin with the pizza man"

How to annoy the Pizza Guy...

Add extra letters to words, ex: pizza becomes pizzzzzzzaaaaaaa

Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.

Answer their questions with questions.

Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.

Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g., If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!)

Ask for chips/fries with everything!

Ask for the guy who took your order last time.

Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.

Ask if the pizza has had its shots.

Ask if the pizza is organically grown.

Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.

Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.

Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.

Ask if you they can put food color in the cheese.

Ask the man/woman if they can sculpt the pizza into your favorite celebrity.

Ask them to not put a band-aid on it this time or you will sue.

Ask what the order taker is wearing.

Be vague in your order.

Belch directly into the mouthpiece; then tell your dog it should be ashamed.

Change your accent every three seconds.

Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If (s)he says it, say, "Please don't mention that word."

Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.

Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say, "Where was I? Who are you?"

Eliminate verbs from your speech.

Give them your address, exclaim, "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up

Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell "OW!" when a bullet is fired.

Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred."

If any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker, say, in your best pouty voice, "Last guy let me do it."

If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words."

If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say, "Okay, that'll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window."

If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.

Imitate the order taker's voice.

Laugh every minute or two, mention the cat in the microwave!

Learn to play a blues riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it

Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.

Make a list of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings.

Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say, "No mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.

Make up a credit-card name. Ask if they accept it.

Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream GOODBYE at the top of your lungs.

Mumble, "There's a bomb under your seat." When asked to repeat that, say, "I said, 'sauce smothered with meat'."

Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.

Order a slice, not a whole pizza.

Order term life insurance.

Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."

Order using lines from different movies

Order while using an electric knife sharpener.

Order your pizza, singing in falseto!

Pass the phone around to everyone in the house -- have each person change the order a little.

Pretend that you were trying to call 911 when they tell you you have the wrong # say oh well start to order... In the middle of your order stop and start to panic and yell “IT’S ABOUT TO BLOW” and hang up.

Pretend your flying a jet fighter in the Gulf War while ordering.

Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."

Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.

Put them on hold.

Rattle off your order with a determined air. If they ask if you would like drinks with that, panic and become disoriented.

Rent a pizza.

Repeat every third third word twice

Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.

Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.

Say your order as fast as humanly possible.

Say, "Kssssssssssssssh" rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt that.

Spill out your life story and ask them to they understand, if they say yes, Scream "liars, I don't believe you!" and hang up!

Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry."

Start the conversation with "My Call to Pizza Place, Take 1, and. . . action!"

State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.

Stutter on the letter "p."

Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.

Tell them to put the crust on top this time.

Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

Try to talk while drinking something.

When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say, "You just don't get it, do you?"

When they repeat your order, say, "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."

When they say, "What would you like?"--say, "Huh? Oh, you mean now."

When they say, "Will that be all?"--snicker and say, "We'll find out, won't we?"

When you'ge given the price, say, "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."

While on the phone, fake entering puberty. Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed.

Wonder aloud if you should trim those nose hairs

I thought it was hillarious.

Thanks to Danya for postin this.

राईस यौर हंड्स इफ यू लोवे हिंदी!

2007-09-26T13:15:00.000-06:00

The title says, "Raise your hands if you love hindi!"
I'm too busy these days.
It's really hard to post once you've gone for a long time without doing so. I can understand this now.
So maybe later, friends.
zach

ग्रेट अनोठेर हीनी सो अड़ा सुत्पिद वेइर्द ऎंड व्रोंग

2007-09-07T12:32:00.000-06:00

Great, another Hindi title...

I think the best part about Doritoes is the licking of the fingers at the end. All that spicy, orange, greasy, scrumptious goo that builds up on your fingers blissfully dissolving off your digits onto your waiting taste buds. Ahhh, life is good. I pity those people who are too polite to suck on their fingers. They stand there, washing happiness down the drain, or wiping bliss off on their napkin. It’s a tragedy.

Luke’s over here trying to convince me that bliss is a cuss word. Wonder where he heard that…

So, that’s just what’s on mind right now.

I think I posted on Wednesday, right?

Thursday, it would seem as if I did something of note. Maybe I’ll think of it later. Oh yeah, I went to work with dad, AGAIN, so I could get my passport in the mail.

Friday, co op. Molly had a camera out when we were all outside goofing around, and I was very keyed-up, so that’s a trip to watch. Especially when you put in slo mo and I sound very … um… slow. We need to put it on YouTube.

Also Friday, spending the night with Sam and Jonah at Sam’s house, after going to see Pirates 3 again. It made more sense this time. And we did a bunch of other random stuff that’s not coming to mind, but I’m sure there was some.

I do remember that I almost killed myself with Molly’s eyelash curler. That is a deadly contraption. Yeah, let’s make a metal object to pinch our eyelids off with. Good idea. We’ll sell them to teenage girls. We’ll make a fortune. That’s what they were thinking.

Saturday was a busy one. First, bookstores. I bought Anberlin’s new CD, which is great, and Pillar’s newish CD, which is good, but not as good as I wanted it to be.

If Candace doesn’t have it, I think I might give it to her as a wedding present…

And a very fun wedding. It was my best friend from back in the day when I was 5 and my dad was youth pastor at Temple Baptist. He’s about 10 years older than me. But yeah, Dad did the ceremony, and all that. They had these awesome chocolates at each table. I ate a lot of those. Quite nice.

While we were walking from our car to the Gillioz Theatre, where the reception was, I noticed the Skinny Improv theatre. I had an epiphany. I would go to The Skinny Improv that night, spend the night with old friends Connie and Alesha. Connie was my dad’s secretary at Temple and Alesha is her 20 something daughter.I went to church with them, and then meet the parents at Incredible Pizza Sunday.

And it worked. Like clockwork.

So, yeah, the Skinny Improv again. They’re SO cool.
Good times, hanging out with Connie, who I’ve known since I was 9 months old, and her daughter Alesha, 21. When I was five, I told my mom that when I grew up, I wanted to be Alesha’s dad. We used to be pretty tight. I hadn’t seen her in 4 or 5 years, and they live right there in Spfd. That’s pathetic.

But we made up for it.

Sunday,after having my bangs straightened by Alesha (Any of you girls have a starightener you wanna give me?), I went to church with them, where I used to go when I was little, so all these people remember me, and I mostly remember their faces, but am 100% blank on their names. That’s always interesting.

I just love talking to people who know you really well, and you have no idea who they are. Kinda awkward, but I’m getting increasingly better at it.

After church, I went to Incredible Pizza with the whole Caddy fam, all (hold on, I’m doing the math) 17 of us. Many thanks to the lovely Natalee who spent money on me, killing dinosaurs with me, walking and talking with me, and taking me on the expensive flight simulator. Love ya.

That night we started a great movie, The Count of Monte Christo. Despite having to skip some stuff, there are some AMAZING lines in that movie.
Such as the good guy, who has a French name I can’t remember: “I don’t believe in God anymore”
Old, dying, prison mate, who has a French name that sounds like sais voiu pwaiou or something Frenchy: “It doesn’t matter, He believes in you.”

Among others.

While the action was good, it wasn’t what carried the movie, it was the stellar plot. A carefully crafted web of deception, treachery, and intrigue, if you wanna get professional on me.

On Labor Day, we worked. Hence the name Labor Day. And finished the movie.

Friday: up till 1
Saturday: up till 1
Sunday: up till 10 30
Monday: up till 11 30
Tuesday: up till 10ish

I need to catch up on sleep.

Molly is needing help writing a comedy script for a movie to keep us busy in, so if you have any good ideas, she’s open to anything. I think. Call her up.
Or maybe we should do everything improv. Improv is good.

Whatever.

I’ve noticed that the skin on my upper leg is almost the exact same color as Hiland 2 percent milk. Isn’t that weird?

Well, right now I’m writing this on the very cool laptop as I ride home from church in our stylish (ha) 1988 Camry. Rolling in style.

I missed my guitar lesson today. I thought for sure it was at 3 30. It wasn’t. More like 3. Muffin. But I did fall in love with one of the amps they had. But it cost money. And, as I’ve mentioned before, I have no moneys. B/c my employers are not having me work. Not good.

Y’know, I can’t believe you’re reading this… It’s so weird that anyone gives a muffin about anything I write. It’s quite flattering. Thank you for reading. I mean that from the heart of my bottom. No, I mean the bottom of my heart. Whatever.

I wrote all that on Wednesday, but didn't get to post it till today. That seems to happen a lot.
Be God’s,
Zach

नो मोरे हिंदी नो मोरे हिंदी

2007-09-06T20:00:00.000-06:00

Great, another Hindi title
I think the best part about Doritoes is the licking of the fingers at the end. All that spicy, orange, greasy, scrumptious goo that builds up on your fingers blissfully dissolving off your digits onto your waiting taste buds. Ahhh, life is good. I pity those people who are too polite to suck on their fingers. They stand there, washing happiness down the drain, or wiping bliss off on their napkin. It’s a tragedy.

Luke’s over here trying to convince me that bliss is a cuss word. Wonder where he heard that…

So, that’s just what’s on mind right now.

I think I posted on Wednesday, right?

Thursday, it would seem as if I did something of note. Maybe I’ll think of it later.

Oh yeah, I went to work with dad, AGAIN, so I could get my passport in the mail.

Friday, co op. Molly had a camera out when we were all outside goofing around, and I was very keyed-up, so that’s a trip to watch. Especially when you put in slo mo and I sound very … um… slow. We need to put it on YouTube.

Also Friday, spending the night with Sam and Jonah at Sam’s house, after going to see Pirates 3 again. It made more sense this time. And we did a bunch of other random stuff that’s not coming to mind, but I’m sure there was some.

I do remember that I almost killed myself with Molly’s eyelash curler. That is a deadly contraption. Yeah, let’s make a metal object to pinch our eyelids off with. Good idea. We’ll sell them to teenage girls. We’ll make a fortune. That’s what they were thinking.

Saturday was a busy one. First, bookstores. I bought Anberlin’s new CD, which is great, and Pillar’s newish CD, which is good, but not as good as I wanted it to be.

If Candace doesn’t have it, I think I might give it to her as a wedding present…

And a very fun wedding. It was my best friend from back in the day when I was 5 and my dad was youth pastor at Temple Baptist. He’s about 10 years older than me. But yeah, Dad did the ceremony, and all that. They had these awesome chocolates at each table. I ate a lot of those. Quite nice.

While we were walking from our car to the Gillioz Theatre, where the reception was, I noticed the Skinny Improv theatre. I had an epiphany. I would go to The Skinny Improv that night, spend the night with old friends Connie and Alesha. Connie was my dad’s secretary at Temple and Alesha is her 20 something daughter. I went to church with them, and then meet the parents at Incredible Pizza Sunday.

And it worked. Like clockwork.

So, yeah, the Skinny Improv again. They’re SO cool.

Good times, hanging out with Connie, who I’ve known since I was 9 months old, and her daughter Alesha, 21. When I was five, I told my mom that when I grew up, I wanted to be Alesha’s dad. We used to be pretty tight. I hadn’t seen her in 4 or 5 years, and they live right there in Spfd. That’s pathetic.

But we made up for it.

Sunday,after having my bangs straightened by Alesha (Any of you girls have a starightener you wanna give me?), I went to church with them, where I used to go when I was little, so all these people remember me, and I mostly remember their faces, but am 100% blank on their names. That’s always interesting.

I just love talking to people who know you really well, and you have no idea who they are. Kinda awkward, but I’m getting increasingly better at it.

After church, I went to Incredible Pizza with the whole Caddy fam, all (hold on, I’m doing the math) 17 of us. Many thanks to the lovely Natalee who spent money on me, killing dinosaurs with me, walking and talking with me, and taking me on the expensive flight simulator. Love ya.

That night we started a great movie, The Count of Monte Christo. Despite having to skip some stuff, there are some AMAZING lines in that movie. Such as

The good guy, who has a French name I can’t remember: “I don’t believe in God anymore”

Old, dying, prison mate, who has a French name that sounds like sais voiu pwaiou or something Frenchy: “It doesn’t matter, He believes in you.”

Among others.

While the action was good, it wasn’t what carried the movie, it was the stellar plot. A carefully crafted web of deception, treachery, and intrigue, if you wanna get professional on me.

On Labor Day, we worked. Hence the name Labor Day. And finished the movie.
Friday: up till 1
Saturday: up till 1
Sunday: up till 10 30
Monday: up till 11 30
Tuesday: up till 10ish

I need to catch up on sleep.

Molly is needing help writing a comedy script for a movie to keep us busy in, so if you have any good ideas, she’s open to anything. I think. Call her up.
Or maybe we should do everything improv. Improv is good.

Whatever.

I’ve noticed that the skin on my upper leg is almost the exact same color as Hiland 2 percent milk. Isn’t that weird?

Well, right now I’m writing this on the very cool laptop as I ride home from church in our stylish (ha) 1988 Camry. Rolling in style.

I missed my guitar lesson today. I thought for sure it was at 3 30. It wasn’t. More like 3. Muffin. But I did fall in love with one of the amps they had. But it cost money. And, as I’ve mentioned before, I have no moneys. B/c my employers are not having me work. Not good.

Y’know, I can’t believe you’re reading this… It’s so weird that anyone gives a muffin about anything I write. It’s quite flattering. Thank you for reading. I mean that from the heart of my bottom. No, I mean the bottom of my heart. Whatever.

Be God’s,
Zach

यौर फस वहत थे हेक इत's पोटिंग इन हिंदी?

2007-08-29T10:33:00.000-06:00

Hey,

Wassup?

I have no idea why the title is in a foreign language. Gotta love technology...

I would guess I haven’t posted since last Monday.

So…

I found out when I got home from SBU Monday that I’d picked a bummer of a day to miss being at home. It rained 12 inches, about ¼ of our annual rain fall, in less than 24 hours. Which, as I now know from video and pics, did some muffin amazing stuff. Which I missed. That made me sad.

Tuesday, fun day at the lake. The rains had washed in some massive logs to mess around with. When you’re at the lake with nothing at all on the agenda, a log is a great way to pass the time. Really.

Took this picture:

That started a lovely inside joke I can’t seem to live down…

And probably never will. When you get my mom, Phaedra, Sarah, and Molly, all women who love to hate me, in a friendly way, it’s nonstop MakeZachLookLikeAMoronB/cIt’sFun.

Wednesday, my mom got older. She’s not one to care about people knowing her age, so I could post it, but I don’t remember anyhoo.

Thursday, don’t remember.

Friday, first day of co-op. Am I writing that right? Should it be co-op, co op, or coop? You prolly don’t give a muffin.

Sam staying the night so he could avoid staying at his house with Molly, Katie, and Emily. That’d been rough. So Sam came over, and we babysat. Aka, watched Barnyard with L and O. Which is really funny in its funny parts and really boring in its boring parts.

Mom had spaghetti made up for us. I wanted some bacon. So I made some. B/c I was in charge. It was really good.

The best part: good ol Sam takes a drink of milk. The movie goes funny all the sudden. Sam spurts milk EVERY-MUFFIN-WHERE. Luke, the chair, the floor, the end table… Yeah. I think he apologized about 87 and a half times. It was awesome.

I love watching movies when no one is annoyed when you wanna go back and see a part again. We watched one scene about 5 times.

Meanwhile, at the Bueskings, they’re watching The Sixth Sense, which is the scariest move I’ve ever seen. I called periodically to see how scared they were getting. I must be a major wimp when it comes to getting scared, b/c they were not freaking out like I had been.

Oh well. I guess that makes scary movies more enjoyable for me.

Saturday, party next door.

And we had tacos, which, although they’re good, are pretty much the awkwardest thing to eat while sitting around talking. You ever tried it? Your trying to eat the taco with one hand, catch anything you might drop with the plate in the other hand, and trying to talk, and listen, all at the same time. And then some huge piece of shell and lettuce is hanging out of your mouth, and you’re just like, “Give me a break.” Except it comes out, “mrrph ,mprhthg prhn” because you have all that junk hanging off your face.

I don’t think I’m coordinated enough for that, friends.

And Kezzi turned 17, so happy birthday, kid.

I was talking with newfound friend Rachel Wilson yesterday, and we were wondering what color a Smurf would turn if you chocked it… They’re already blue. I just think it’s one of those things we won’t know this side of heaven.

Sunday, the bestest barbeque ever. And this was a REAL barbeque. We brought in a 3/8” thick steel smoker that had its own trailer. Now that’s a smoker. And the beef was amazing. The pork was stellar. And the chicken was sooooo tender. And then there was the incredible homemade Raspberry Chipotle sauce. Try to figure that word out: Raspberry. It's got laryngitis or something. Rasp...

It was my kind of party too. Just sit around and talk with cool people.

And I had Andy throw me cantaloupes while I chopped em in half with my sword, which I hadn’t used yet. We got video of that.

Good times.

Monday, I finally got my driver’s permit. But I can’t drive b/c I don’t have insurance yet… So all carded up and nothing to do. And my pictures pretty good too.

Not so for the passport picture. Blech.

Why do I need a passport you ask? B/c I’m going to Russia! Yeah, I’m going to Moscow this December with the dad and Kelly for a conference on Church Planting in a Postmodern World. So ROCK!

And then I’m going to El Salvador with the dad and a team of students and Sarah O over spring break!

Which is awesome.

What’s not awesome is if I want my passport in time it’s gonna be about over $200 if I wanna get it in time… And I have no moneys.

Hire me.

I wrote all that on Tuesday, but didn’t get around to posting it.

So, now it’s Wednesday, and I just got done laughing my face off at The Skinny Improv, here at SBU. They are SO funny, it’s not even funny. Except it is. Really funny. As the name implies it’s ALL improve. Very amazing. And have I mentioned funny?

And at 3, I have my first guitar lesson of the semester.

Be God’s,
zach

Muffin

2007-08-20T15:35:00.000-06:00

Muffin. What a lovely word.

Saturday: not much. Just getting ready for school to start. Binding books in the book-binder thingie. What a lovely machine.

Sunday: Church. Almost all college students. Everybody’s back for school. Not really everybody though. Too many people graduated last year. At church we’re gonna be doing a Worldview course called “Thinking Like A Christian” for the next 13 weeks. It’s gonna be pretty sweet, and everybody’s pretty excited about it.

During lunch, it started to rain. For the first time since July 1. Yeah. It’s been looking very dry around our place. But since then it’s rained 12 inches in Walnut Grove, which is about 10 miles from our lovely abode. I don’t know how much we got tho. Prolly a lot. Like A LOT, a lot.

After eatage, me and Cory and Thomas and Joel and Joel went to Caplinger Mills. Which is really cool. There used to be a mill there (hence the name) and we climbed up inside it. Very cool. And they dammed up the Sac River there, and so it’s deep and there’s the bestest rope swing I’ve ever been on right there. It was pretty intense. Very fast. Quite thrilling. Once I forgot to let go of the rope and almost the hit this massive tree.

I almost died.

It made everybody laugh. Always a plus. And once, I went way up on the tree, grabbed low on the rope, leaned out too far, and pushed off. Which made me spin. And kinda freak. And scream. Yeah. I ended up landing smack on my back. It hurt, but made everybody laugh. Still a plus.

Good times

This post is not random enough for me.

Tuna!

Ok, that’s better.

But not good enough.

And today I’m at SBU, on the first day of school. And I was gonna take my driver’s test today. It was a muffin.

First, I go to the License office. I remember that it’s $3.50. I have no moolah. My dad has no moolah. So he goes to get some.

After waiting for him to get back, I go up there, and the lady (who was not an ugly, old, cranky tank like most women who work for the state are) was like, “I need your birth certificate, social security card and your test papers.”
Pause.
Blank stare from me.
”I dunno what that is.”
“Oh, you haven’t taken your test yet?”
“That’s what I came here to do.”
“Oh, you have to go to Dept of Family Services for that, and then come back here.”
“Oh. Ok.”

Earlier in the day the car had been making funny noises and giving massages to our lower extremities, and it kept getting worse. I look back at my rear tire… It’s about to fall off. Wobbling around like crazy. So we take it real slow in the left turn all the way to DFS. By the time we get there, it’s too late for me to take my muffin test. Muffin.

It would seem as if God does not want to me to drive anytime soon. Perhaps that’s in the best interest of the masses. So, I’ll have to wait until next Monday, or just give up and take it in Spfd.

How convenient.

So that’s my status quo.

Be God's,
zach

Let's see how long I can make this title. I guess there has to be a limit... Doesn't there? B/c if there wasn't, I could just post in the title box, a

2007-08-17T15:56:00.000-06:00

Ok,
Now I know how long the title can be. I'd been lying awake at night wondering. I was thinking it'd be longer.

I do seem to have a muffin of a time getting a lovely intro for these things. And now I’ll just say what I always say, Well, I guess I should just start writing.

Saturday: I just remember a quote that my dad said: “Nothing like sitting around, smoking a pretzel, and playing cards.” Our family is now a bunch of pretzel-smoking foos. That’s Mr. T for fool, by the way. If you don’t know what I’m talking about (smoking pretzels) then just ask. There’s no shame in that.

Sunday: Nothing’s jumping out at me. I’d bet church. Prolly a safe bet.

Monday: I was gonna take my driver’s test, but dad didn’t go to work. So I’ll have to wait a little longer. I’ll prolly be 16 before it actually works out.

Tuesday: Canoeing! We went with Sarah O and the Goodwyn’s (there were supposed to be some college kids coming, but they all backed up, dang it) on the Niangua River, which is a very cold spring fed river which felt awesome since it’s been so dang hot. It’s a very calm and uneventful river. Not a lot of hard stuff to navigate. Very lazy. It was 101 that day, but down on the water it was not too bad at all. Good times.

We rescued a cat. A very skinny friendly stray we found on the river bank. Dad, who’s usually the hold up when we’re wanting to take in animals, ok’d her. He says it’s because it was a rescue, not just taking her off someone’s hands. All she’s done is eat since we’ve had her. And sleep. And crap on my backpack. And pee in my closet. She hasn’t messed with anybody else’s stuff or space. No, just mine. I guess I’m special. Or maybe she doesn’t like me.

Wednesday, I babysat, which meant watching the munchkins watch movies. Including the new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I’d forgotten how funny Johnny Depp is in that movie. And kinda creepy.

Mike Teavee: “Who wants a beard?”

Willy Wonka: “Beatniks for one. Folk singers and motorbike riders. Y’know, all those hip, jazzy, super cool, neat, keen, and groovy cats. Getcha in the fridge, daddy-O. Are you hip to the jive? Can you dig what I’m laying down? I know that you could, so slip me some skin, soul brother.”

That made me laugh, so I wrote it down. And the way he says it... Crackaz me up.

That and, “They’re gonna squeeze her. Like a little pimple”

And some more, but you’ve prolly had enough of Willy Wonka.

At church, Garrett informed me that he and I had been invited to go on tour with a British screamo/metal band. Yeah. Before we went to see Kutless, we’d recorded (in my opinion) a fairly unpolished cover of Five For Fighting’s “Superman,” with him on piano, and me on guitar and singing, and put it on the internet… Good idea? Maybe.

But anyways, this band, The Enigma Code, who I don’t think are Christian sent us this long email about how they wanted us to do 7-9 dates with us in America, and then the next time we could go around The British Isles. “Plus it’d be a great way for you guys to see the Europe.” Or something like that. We barely had the heart to tell them that we’re 15… Before we found out that they were death metal, we were gonna try to talk our parents into driving us around the country. Not.

But it’s still a pretty nice ego boost. We are wanted. Maybe just so the Screamo Brits can make fun of us, but we are wanted.

Church that night was really good too.

Yesterday was Luke’s birfday. Yet another word that’s fun to say like a little kid. Birfday. Sarah O came over and we played cards. More specifically, Nertz, the best game ever. But didn’t smoke any pretzels. She doesn’t have a job right now, so she hangs out with us a lot. Because she can. That work really cuts into your day, y’know.

Recently, Garrett introduced me to the greatest substitute word ever, which I’ve already used several times in this post: Muffin. You’re prolly thinking, “What the muffin, that’s muffin’ cool.”
See what I mean? It works for everything. Just play with it for a while. Very entertaining.

It’s not nearly as clunky as my former fave, Beorn Svenson From Ohio. Muffin just rolls off the tongue smoother.

We need to patent that. I have another fave, Crudmunkeez, but I don’t use it much when I’m writing. Can you patent words? I guess I could call it a trademark.

Here’s the email The Enigma Code sent us:
“Hi Hello Edwards
Howz it going, my name is Mike I'm from Indie Go Records and a band called Enigma Code, from England, We have an album out called Between the Lines, here's what I'm looking to do. I'm looking to play a short tour in America Enigma Code plus your band, say between 7 to 9 dates that kind of thing next year. The style of my band is Hard rock power pop is the best way of describing it, its the nearest description. I could help arrange the shows, help with the publicity along with yourselves if you want to chip in, if you could help with the transport.
Also at the moment my band exists on foreign tours only, and I look for line ups in the country I'm playing, would you know anybody who would want to play in Enigma Code for the tour (guitar bass drums,) there is a possibility I might be able to bring a bassist or guitarist with me, but ideally I'd like Americans in the line up. It makes it more cost effective too less airfares and its more fun, I get to work with people I wouldnt normally work with and hook together an exciting project, there again if the band came back to play USA again they would be invited to do it again the same people, I may even record new material over there at some point. Anyway main thing is getting together a tour for both of our bands, I will primarily get the shows I may ask for a little bit of help from time to time but I'll get them. Does this sound like something that would interest you, is this doable, hope so, if so love to hear from you. Also there would be an opportunity for you guys to come to Europe and do shows over this way, I could help you with that, and we could hook our bands together over this way as well for tours sound interesting? If you cant help with the band member thing, maybe you could recommend a good free site with musicians available on it, we could do it ourselves or you could help us with that. either way if your up for it dont worry about that, we'll work something out. very interested to hook up.
Cheers
Mike”

“Hard rock power pop,” my muffin. He's really articulate too, eh?
Be God’s
Zach

How's this for granting wishes? CANDACE is now a post title!

2007-08-10T16:36:00.000-06:00

Now comes the brain racking to try to remember what’s happened.

Some day b/t Tuesday and today I had an accident. No, not like I wet my pants. Not like I wrecked a car. No, it was a salsa accident.

So, there I am, preparing some salsa and chips for lunch. I read the top of the bottle, “SHAKE WELL.” I read, therefore I shake. Unfortunately, the lid wasn’t screwed on. Which screwed things up a little. Salsa everywhere. I decided to laugh at myself. I was the only one. Olivia; “Zachary, why are you lauging? You just made a big mess.“ And I told her, “Because life is a lot more fun if you can learn to laugh at yourself” It’s very true. I have a lot of oppurtunities to laugh at myself too, let me tell you.

And… Here’s the brain racking…

I remember something.

One of those days I watched The Village. Which was good, but not in the way I was expecting. I was expecting super scary, and while it was a little scary (those we don’t speak of and all) it was really emotional. And had some really good lines. And clean.

I don’t remember Wenzday at all. Except that I’m now refusing to spell that the normal way, b/c it’s dumb that way.

It’s as if it never happened.

Oh wait, I think we started watching Luther that night. It’s about Martin Luther. And it’s very good so far. Very good. Check it out. I seem to tell you that a lot… If you checked out everything I told you to check out, you’d have your hands full.

Thursday, I went to the lake. And from their went camping on Stockton. Not on it exactly, but you know what I mean. So yeah, me, dad, and Luke went camping. Good times. But I missed the air conditioning. I’m in love with air conditioning, even though it is kinda a hard word to type. I need a t shirt that says that…
It was so bloody hot in that tent. Oh. My. Gosh. It was hot. We had to sleep in the tent b/c of mosquitoes.

The food was awesome though. We probably ate 4 pounds of meat in one sitting. That’s a beautiful thing.

We kayaked a lot.

A lot.

We had a two man and a one man. And my shoulder muscles are really sore, b/c I don’t kayak much, and those blasted muscles are very out of shape. Very.

Brain racking music here. How about the Jeopardy theme...

Oh yeah, DUH! I picked up my new guitar! And it ROCKS! And good looking too. It’s perfect. Sounds good, looks good. What more can you want. At least from a guitar. I’ve been saving for that thing for FOREVER, and it’s SO good to finally have it. My fingers are sore, even though I’m calloused, from playing so much. Man. It’s good. Do you think I should name her?

Cue brain racking music...

Oh yeah, and I just remembered that one of those days, I got bit by a horse fly the size of California. It scared me. Not the bite so much as that ginormous horse on me. So I screamed, (yes, I admit it) and ran for the house. Tragically, I ran too fast. And one of my flippin flops (thank you, Kezzi for the flippin flops thing, I love that) broke! And I thought this was gonna be the year where I only had to buy one pair of flippin flops. Sadly, it shall not be so.

Ok, I’m think I’m done. Unless any more “oh yeah” moments happen, I’m good. I’ll just sit here and wait, just in case.

Oh yeah, when we were coming from the swimming area back to the camp grounds, one of the kayaks fell out of the back of the truck.
Me: “Dad, do you think we should tie em up back there”
Dad: “Nah, we’re just going a couple miles”
Five minutes later:
Dad: “Where’d the other kayak go?”
So we back tracked. We had lost her at the first turn… She looked so lonely just sitting there in all her yellowness on the hot asphalt… A classic dad moment.

Hey, we're going canoeing on the 14th of this month. Call me if you wanna come.
Be God’s
zach

How's this for recogniton? GARRETT ROCKETH!

2007-08-07T11:12:00.000-06:00

So… … How to start this… I seem to ask myself that a lot. I usually always sometimes end up just starting.

Saturday, I sweated. But not as much as Luke and Olivia, who each ran a triathlon. They did good.

And then, in my sweaty, stinky state I went to the mall. You need to go to the mall. Killer sales. I bought a zoot suit. At least that’s what my dad calls it. I don’t know why. It’s a blue pinstripe blazer. It fits me a lot better than my old one. I couldn’t move my arms or shoulders in the other one without choking. Yeah. Much improved.

And I got a bunch of other stuff. Check it out. Not my stuff, the mall.

Sunday, Church. Olivia’s birthday. Watching Tim Hawkins. Who is pretty much the funniest, cleanest, Christian comedian. And he’s still cool. Check him out. You need to. Really.

Monday, geez I can’t remember. I don’t think I did anything. Is today Tuesday or Wednesday? Lemme check. Ok, it’s Tuesday, not Wezday. Which would make Monday yesterday. I was gonna take my driver’s test, but instead I had to stay home and babysit. And I watched Independence Day. But not while babysitting.

Recently mom broke the news to me that if I'm gonna drive I’m gonna hafta start paying some of the insurance… Which is gonna go up b/c of my driving. And I’m a guy, so it’s even more. I can see why. I don’t know many chicks who are real reckless… And I do know a lot of guys like that. Of course, there are those very blonde female drivers…

I know some of them. You know who you are.

Is blonde always spelled with an “e” on the end? Spell check says either way. Good to know.

I’m going to Springfield Music tonight to pick up my brand spankin new guitar. Oh man. It’s exciting.
~
Gosh, I’ve been forgetting my little squiggly things. Which I still can’t remember the name of.
~
You were all very helpfuls with that. Although I think I did get two different answers… Maybe one is their middle name or something.
~
Each of the house church groups is designing their own t shirt this year. GARRETT ROCKS, b/c he is pretty much doing it for his group and mine. So ours are gonna be so much better than the other groups.
*Now I blow a raspberry at all the other groups* Tttthhhhhbbbbbppppp. That's my fave one at the top there.

Be God's,

zach

Introducing "Lite," The New Way To Spell "Light" But With 20% Fewer Calories!

2007-08-03T18:10:00.000-06:00

Hey,
I haven’t posted in a while. Sunday, I guess…

Monday, Garrett, his poor father, and I went to see Kutless at the fair. ROCK AND ROLL! It was the most energetic concert I’ve ever been to. They were just awesome! And we had killer seats! They were so all over the place, doing crazy stuff, playing hard loud music, and singing excellent lyrics all at the same time. If that’s not talent, I don’t know what it is. And they did some worship stuff, so there was another great dynamic to it. If you EVER get a chance to see them, go for it. You won’t regret it.

Tuesday, after dragging out of bed at 7 15 (blech!) so I could drive in with Garrett’s dad, I went to the lake. We fought a lot that day. A little machismo going around. I enjoy moderate machoishness every now and then. I think I’d really enjoy it if I was any good at it. Everybody just beats on the skinny guy. I least I know my place. I’m under no false illusion of muscularishness. I know who I am. It’s cool with me. And I screamed like a woman to be let out of my heavy sandy prison that was unjustly forced upon me. It was supposed to be fun. They buried me in the sand. Deep. Heavy. Painful. Freaky outy. Scary. Screamy.

Wednesday. That’s a weird word. I mean, sound it out… Wed. Nes. Day. What the heck? And we say it “Wenz-day.” Go figure. That’s a funny word to say with a British accent. Figure. In Britishese it’s, “figger.” If that doesn’t sound retarded I don’t know what does. That and schedule. Around here, it’s “sked-u-uhl.” 3 syllables. In Britishese it’s more like, “schezz-ule.” Chuckle.

I think the essence of Southern accent, and I have people that agree with me on this, (you know who you are) is making one syllable words two syllable words, and making two syllable words one syllable words. Hang around someone with a thick drawl for a while, and you’ll see what I mean.

Anyways, what happened on Wednesday? No, what am I thinking, I don’t ask you, you ask me… Ok, let’s do it already.

Wednesday, (stay on task, stay on task, stay on task, Zach) I found out there are some people crazy enough to trust me with their children without close adult supervision. I think I’m gonna get a sticker to put on my forehead that says that, “Use only under close supervision.” It might save me a lot of grief. Geez, I cannot stay on task today.

So, I’m babysitting Slate, 7, and Darby, 4. Slate is … …. … interesting. Very confident. Extremely imaginative. He can look you in the eye and be like, “This piece of paper in my hand is not really a piece of paper. It’s the world’s smallest computer. It’s also transforms into a huge gun. You must keep it safe from the evil Arcanozx and all the bad spies. If they find it, everyone in the whole world will die.”

And you believe him. Because he said it. And you’d better do what he tells you to do, or he will unleash his most deadly weapon. His death look. His death look…. Well, it’s death, for sure. Whoa.

Darby is pretty much the cutest, funniest, loveable-ist kid ever. He still has that cute voice that you’re supposed to grow out of before you turn 4, except he didn‘t. He’s great.
They’re a real trip to babysit.

Before the 2 hours was up, I had squeezed my 6 foot frame into a Superman outfit that was made for a ten year old so we could wrestle in style. Yeah. Those things will give you a killer wedgie in a hurry, especially if you just put em on over your jeans. Ouch. And it had a plastic plate built into the chest and it was all musculary looking. It was a new thing for me to have a superman torso. I was looking good. Ish.

I also was an accomplice in a serious heist. I unknowingly helped Darby steal some buried treasure from Slate. Ooops. A little conflict there, too long for this post. Talk about a complex plot. Whoa.

Thursday, hosting a dinner party of sorts with my grandparents, my great aunt and uncle, Sarah O, Sarah May, and Sarah O’s parents. A pretty diverse crowd. I think Sarah O reads this blog, so, Sarah, I love your dad. He’s top notch.

And today, Friday, I ordered my guitar. It’s coming. Soon. I spent so much money on it. Crazy. So, now I’m broke. What a horrible feeling. It’ll be worth it once the guitar gets here. Oh my gosh, it’s gonna be so nice. And I saw Meet The Robinsons at the dollar theatre. Which, unfortunately, is no longer the dollar theatre. It’s the $2.50 theatre, which is harder to type, and it just doesn’t roll off the tongue, like dollar theatre. Not to mention it’s more expensive. So anyways, it was good for an animated kid flick.

Theatre is a weird word. Just look at it. Filth.

I’m gonna see Pirates 3 again when it comes to the dollar theatre, which should be soon. You should come. Gimme a call.

Tomorrow, Luke and Olivia are participating in a triathlon. Which is cool. Except I have to get up at like 6 so they can get all set up, savvy? That’s not good, savvy? That’s fun to say, savvy?
At the risk of being super nerdy, I’ve been working on my Jack Sparrow imitation. I don’t do it on command. Nope. Only when I feel like it.

The Pirates dynasty would’ve been ok w/out Jack Sparrow, but with him, it’s just awesome.

He’s SO funny.

Holy crud, this post is LONG.

Merry Christmas.

Happy Hanukka, or however the heck you spell it.

Be God’s,
zach

Yeah...

2007-07-28T17:49:00.000-06:00

Hey,
So, an apology is in order. Recently, I left a comment to the effect of , “a lot of homeschoolers annoy me.” That wasn’t a good thing to say. I was wrong. It should not have been said. So, to anyone I offended, including my own family, especially my mom, I’m sorry, and I’m gonna be more careful about remarks like that in the future.
I’m beginning to see that blogging’s strongest point, reaching lotsa people at once, is also its low point.
And you can’t see my facial expression or hear my tone of voice, so it’s hard to know when I’m being serious or just sarcastic.

My bad.

Let’s see, I posted last Monday, so I’ll try to remember what the heck has happened since then.

Tuesday: Lake. Pretty sweet.

Wednesday: I don’t remember. I think I watched a movie that night…

Thursday: I break myself. Not really. I just jumped foot-first, lock-kneed into a 4 foot pool concrete pool that I thought was a whole lot deeper than that. So, now I limp. It was really bad for the first day and a half, and I’m almost back to normal now. It’s not fun.

Friday Olivia got super sick. Or as my grammar book would have me say, "became ill." I really really really really hope I don’t get it before Kutless. I’d be really really really really TO’d about that. And our lovely friend Sarah O is back from Alaska after forever for a while, so we hung out with her.

I’ve discovered that if you make a lot of different paragraphs in your post they look longer and more sophisticated, and I’m thinking if I want to look super sophisticated, I could put those little squiggly lines b/t paragraphs.
~
Like that
~
And today, I’ve been framing a building. And I just got back from an awesome bike ride in the rain. I love the rain!
~
A lot
~
Those squiggly lines are great…
~
Do you know what they’re called?
~
I don’t
~
I'm thinking I'm a homeschooler. And I definitely annoy me sometimes. And I live in the country. And I like that most of the time. And a lot of my friends are in the same boat.
~
Up and Coming, Tomorrow, Church and Sarah O
~
Monday: Kutless, baby! I'm looking forward to that. Rock and Roll!
~
Have you noticed when people are excited they never yell “Adult Contemporary, Yeah!” No, they don’t! They yell Rock and Roll!
~
And I've invented a new thing to yell when I stub my toe at night: Beorg Svenson From Ohio. Isn't it great. And it makes me feel better.
~
Instantly.
~
Give it a shot.
~
Be God’s,
zach

Insert Clever Title Here

2007-07-23T10:06:00.000-06:00

Hey,
You know when you're typing and you see the little blinky vertical line that shows you where you are on the screen, do you ever want to just hit it? I do. Sometimes.

I'm not sure how to start this. I guess I should just start typing...

On Wednesday my best friend Austin, whom I hadn't seen in over a year, b/c he lives in Rolla, dang it, came over for the night. After watching one of the funniest movies ever until 11, we layed in the dark and talked about deep stuff for long time. He's good at that.

Friday, I played frisbee in the hot hot hot hot hot sun for 4 hours. During that time, I received one of the most cutting insults I've ever gotten.

Drumroll, please.

papapapapapapapa....

Ashton: "You look like you like Country music."
Zach: "No, no, no! Please stop, don't tell me that!"

She insisted that I did. That made me very sad. Everything I do to my appearance is to make people think I'm not a good ol country boy who likes his Alan Jackson. I'm gonna have to turn it up a notch. I wonder if I should bring back my fohawk... Prollly not, that looked kinda dumb.

I'll think of something.

Saturday, our church rented out a gym, so I played basketball in the hot gym for forever. Good stuff. Earlier that day I had push mowed our large yard, so my legs are wasted. Sore.

Luke wants me to tell you that we now have cows. Mini Cows. Called Irish Dexters.

Sunday, our group wasn't having church and we thought we called everyone and told them that. We didn't. So Travis and Kyla came over and just hung out for a while. Kyla is a member of one of seven families in the world who have triplets and quads. And I know her. Oooooh. I can tell you're jealous

A week from today I'm going to see Kutless with Garrett at the fair. I'm pumped.

I was thinking this morning that when something kinda looks like something else we say, "just squint your eyes and it really does!" Well, we need to make something up for when something kinda sounds like something else. Such as "just squint your ears and it really does!"

That's the kind of stuff that goes thru my brain on a regular basis. Yeah.

I'll see you at the phunny pharm.

Be God's
zach

Lord of Cheese

2007-07-17T16:33:00.000-06:00

Hey,
The title has nothing to do with anything. Ignore it.

You need to see Gladiator. And the Patriot. Both excellent movies, with great messages, that really play on your emotions. In the Patriot, I went from tears in my eyes from sadness, to tears in my eyes from happiness, to "Gosh, that guy needs to die, NOW!"

Last Tuesday, I went to the lake. For a nearly divinely inspired post on that, check out www.venvidivulture.blogspot.com.

You need to check out 3 super good bands: Wilco, which is pretty much The Beatles today, Lifehouse, who is just flat out great, mostly b/c of their singer. Number 3 is Mat Kearney, which is really, really hard to describe and my current favorite. Very good.

Recently I've taken up the mandolin. So there.

Thursday, I had my filthy braces forcibly removed. That's another word that's fun to say like a little kid. Remoobed. Remoobed. My teeth feel naked. It's lovely.

Also Thursday, a great lunch with some of my favorite people, including Garrett, Candi, Priscilla, Kezzi, Hope, and the E mom, Lisa who is a lot cooler than your average mom.

Friday, I left for a wedding in KC. We stayed in a $160 hotel room free for two nights b/c my dad was doing the wedding. A definite plus. My mom said it was bigger than their first apartment. Yeah.
At the reception, Luke caught the garter... He had it on like a headband until he found out where it had been just a few minutes ago. "Yuck! It's been on her leg!? That's sick! Why are they throwing it around?!" -Luke

I think, if my fiance agrees with me, when I get married one of these days, I'm just gonna have a party, and people can just come and hang out all day, and we'll get married sometime. No schedule, nothing planned except for the marriage, which will just happen sometime that day. Nothing expensive. No tuxedos. Just love.

"Having a huge wedding makes about as much sense as bobbing for apples in the toilet." -Zach

I'm sitting here thinking that if I was a giant corndog watching a movie, I wouldn't have to go to the kitchen for snacks! I wouln't have to miss any movie; I could just start gnawing on myself. That'd be cool.

Anyways...

I've been reading some super applicationable books lately. Another great book by Brennan Manning: Posers, Fakers, & Wannabes. The title is a little misleading. It's really good.

This kid named Zach Hunter, who's 15, wrote a book called Be The Change, which has kinda got me thinking... There's so much pain and need in Africa, and I haven't really been thinking enough about it. I'm prolly going to get involved a little bit more with Africa. Not sure how, but I'll find a way.

Oh, and Priscilla, you hafta try Apple Jacks with OJ. It's a trip.
Be God's,
zach

Taco Bueno

2007-07-09T09:45:00.000-06:00

Hey,

I love summer. A lot. It's a really thing.

Although I occasionally find myself thinking, "Why don't I do something really productive?" and then, thank God, the horrible feeling passes, and I go back to doing my nothing.

My Internet at home is 100% worthless. Yeah. It's no taco bueno.

Most of my time is spent shoveling horse poo, playing or listening to music, swimming in the pool, or the creek, reading, or watching movies, or hanging out with my poor college friends who are stuck here for the summer, or camping, as I did Friday night with Sam and Jonah.

A few of my favorite things about that trip. And it was a trip.

Staying up till 3 after watching War of the Worlds (0k) and The Italian Job (awesome!) until 11

Sam's obsessive compulsive personality which clashes in a very funny way with mine and Jonah's "whatever, it doesn't really matter to me" personalities

Drinking 5 sodas in about 15 hours

Watching 3 movies in about 15 hours (the other was Sahara, which we watched Saturday morning. Good movie, even the second time)

The insanely hard and bumpy bard ground on which I slept

Did you catch how hard I worked I worked not to end that sentence with a preposition? Pretty nice eh?

Laughing at really stupid, random, dumb, hilarious stuff at 2 or 3, when everything is at least 4 times funnier than it is during the day

Being 100% myself, which means saying everything I'm thinking and other "not such a good idea" stuff, b/c I'm way past caring what these guys think about me

These guys doing the same thing

I think

Having the whole 5 acres and the house inhabited with only guys

That's different

Raiding Jonah's fridge until there was NOTHING edible left

Eating Apple Jacks using orange juice instead of milk. Because I felt like it. It was ... interesting

Yessir, summer is taco bueno.

So am I.

Oh yeah, I went to a Springfield Cardinals baseball game. We won 3 - 0. The game wasn't too exciting, but the college company was.

And I've discovered that horse poo isn't that bad. It's horse pee. That stuff is so acidic and ammonia-y. It's bad news. Definitely not taco bueno.

You go do your thing now. Have a nice day.

Be God's

the {{sc

heck, forget that,

zach

The 4th

2007-07-05T06:44:00.000-06:00

Hey,
It's 7 45. I've had to get up relatively early the past few days, and that's not fun this time of year. I should be able to sleep a lot. The Celebrate America Celebration at James River was really good. Me and Garrett walked around for 5 hours amidst 100,000 people( pretty much all of Spfd), then saw some stellar fireworks. Oh dang, I forgot to get any funnel cakes. Dang it. People would be walking by with it, and it smelled SO good. But the line was 3 miles long, so I just forgot I guess.
Leeland was playing. They are really awesome. This is an excerpt from a letter I wrote to Klayre last night right after we saw them
"Me and Garrett watched Leeland play 3 songs, b/c his parents were ready to get home, but they were great. Probably their best 3. They're even in person than they are on Cd. I was pretty much the only person even vaguely excited about it. Jumping up and down and singing and stuff. Oh well. That band has such a super flippin amazing awesome sweet heart for God. Other bands that I like that are secular or mostly meaningless semi Christian are good, but they just don't get me like a band like an explicitly Christian band like Leeland does.
I've got to go now.
Laters

This Could Be Interesting

2007-07-04T14:30:00.000-06:00

Hey,
So I'm at Garrett's house, and I had a nice post typed up. On my home computer. Which is. At home. Yeah. So this could be interesting.
I was at my grandparent's, painting their house. Making some moolah. And stuff. It was pretty flippin boring. I took my dad to Pirates 3 while we were there. It was good. And complicated. And good. And complicated. And good.
Oh yeah, they have a Spanish TV channel, on which they play Lucha Libre! If you haven't seen the Jack Black movie, Nacho Libre, that basically means really cheesy, fake, hilarious, dumb, hilarious wrestling. 1/3 of the guys are in good shape. 1/3 of the guys weigh at least 400 pounds, and the other 1/3 are midgets. And they're all running around in tights, fake punching each other, and doing power drops on midgets. Get the picture? If you ever get a chance to watch the filth; do. It fantastabulous. (Is that the word you used, Candi?)
Our internet is all but dead. It took me 1/2 an hour to check a few emails, which I couldn't reply back to, and do ONE thing on facebook. Yeah, it stinks.
It's flippin hot. Flippin hot. Really flippin hot. It makes me stink, and stinks itself.
Tonight, I'm going to see Leeland, a really good band, at the 4th of July thing at James River with Garrett.
You need to read The Ragamuffin Gospel, which is a flippin amazing book about the amazing grace of God. If it's new to you, it'll change a lot of things for you. Read it.
You also need to read Velvet Elvis: Repainting the Christian Faith. I'm about halfway through it. It's very good.
That should do it for now. I'll shut up. Even thought, b/c it's my blog. Yeah.
the {{screaming *penguin}}

Balloon vs Bloon

2007-06-25T13:39:00.001-06:00

Hey,
I have a cold. A bloody awful cold. It makes my head feel like a balloon. It’s kinda fun to say “bloon” like a little kid instead “ba-loon” like an adult. Bloon, bloon, bloon.
I don’t really remember when I last posted. Today’s Saturday… and I probably posted … Hhhmm… I’ll bet Monday evening. What has happened?
Tuesday, I shoveled horse poo for 5 hours… That’s interesting. And smelly.
And
Wednesday night church was really good. The Farrs brought one of their friends, and we were reading in Proverbs about how bad company corrupts good character or something like that, and the new guy’s like, “Sounds like me.” He was totally open and honest with us about his life, how he had a been a leader in his youth group, and was very evangelistic, and then he had just left it all after hanging out with different people. He wasn’t sure he was saved anymore, and a lot of other stuff. Of course, we prayed for him, and it felt really real, if you know what I mean. I love that.
And
I saw Pirates 2 Thursday, after spending nearly all day at the lake. I bet 9 out of 10 people say that movie is dumb, but I thought it was almost as good as the first. I definitely think the action was better. I think it was good. So shoot me.
And
I now officially have a crush on Keira Knightley, like pretty much every guy I know.
And
That movie has the absolute cliff-hanger-y-est ending I’ve ever seen. I definitely need to see the 3rd Pirates.
“A resolute and unyielding need.” -Jack Sparrow
And
Last night, Sam B and I camped out. It seems to be a common occurrence now. It was a pretty normal camping experience. Nothing much out of the ordinary. I slept well, but not a lot. We stayed up kinda late-ish.
And
This morning I came down with this lovely cold. Actually, it started last night, and it’s progressed rapidly to this bloon-head state. And I’m whining.
And
It’s weird; I’m a different person when I write. Or maybe this is who I really am, and I’m different the rest of the time. There’s some heavy food for thought. A penny for your thoughts. Maybe even a nickel for your thoughts. On my best days I give out quarters. Stick around, maybe I’ll give you one. Maybe. Someday.
And
You should read some books by Steinbeck. They’re old, and he’s a Marxist, but he writes cool, easy to read, interesting books. They do have some language though.
And
You should get a Facebook account. For reals.

Two Days Later
I wrote that Saturday afternoon. Then our stupid dial up internet wouldn’t let me do anything with it. Filth! That evening, my cold intensified. I was out of it. Not fun. Which was a real shame, since we babysat 3 boys ages 1, 2, 3. Those kids were great. I wasn’t allowed to touch them. It’s amazing how easily entertained little kids are. They spent 15 minutes running around singing with plastic containers on their heads. I wish I could get as big a kick out of stuff like that as they do. Life would be much simpler.
Sunday, church at our house. We finished studying Galatians, my favorite book. I’m not sure where we’ll go next. Maybe, Ephesians, my 2nd or 3rd fave. My throat and nose were so stripped out I couldly hard talk. Ha, I meant to write “could hardly,” and instead I wrote “couldly hard.”
My brain.
Warped.
So anyways, I had Joel step in for me on leading worship. Afterwards, I went to Spfd to hang out with some of my super cool college buddies. Have I mentioned how much I like college students?
Today has been spent so far cutting down thistle and clearing brush and getting bit to death by ticks for 4 bucks an hour. Call me crazy. I think I need to join a union. Maybe I’ll go on strike.
And reading anonymous comments on my post. I think I’ve been misunderstood. Camp was a whole lot more than just a popularity contest for me. I didn’t mean to communicate that through my post. I wish you could just crawl into my heart and head and see what I really got from it, because it’s unbloggable. Not to sound grumpy or anything, but if you leave comments that ask deepish questions or leave me wanting to reply please leave your name so we can talk about it. I’d appreciate it.
What the flippin heck? I’m listening to this Coldplay live CD and the guy just sang, “Tie yourself to a marshmallow cause it‘s now or it‘s never.” I wonder if there’s some kind of deep meaning to that line. Weird.
Be God's
the {{screaming *penguin}}

Vacationing

2007-06-19T08:51:00.000-06:00

Hey,
Vacation was great! We went to Kentucky, where I lived for the first 6 months of my life. My parents wanted to go back to see their old friends. I was expecting a lot of old people pinching my cheek and telling me how much I’d grown. There was a little of that, but mostly the people were pretty cool, and not too old. We left at 5 AM on both 9 hour drives. That’s rough for our driver, but it really seems to speed things up for the passengers. We stayed with some old friends of my parents, the Parkers. That was pretty much like staying at a resort. They waited on us hand and foot. They had a huge TV. They had an awesome pond. It was a really thing. I slept in a closet, which definitely beats sharing with Luke as I do at home. I would sleep in till about 9 every morning, at which time Luke and maybe the Parker’s grandkids would come bouncing in to wake me up. There may be something to the whole karma thing, you know, “what goes around comes around…” Because I used to LOVE to wake up people who slept in. One of my favorite childhood activities. Now it’s coming back to haunt me. In a big way. We went to Cincinnati for one night to see the new creation museum by Answers in Genesis. It’s top notch. We also went to the Newport Aquarium. Very cool. I saw a very cool movie on their ginormous TV, Equilibrium. It’s R, but doesn’t deserve it. I recommend it. One of the hardest things about the trip was I didn’t get to play guitar for 6 days. That kills.
We also went to the Louisville Slugger Museum and Factory. That was really cool. I got to see how they make a bat, and I got to touch all of the bats the Cards used in last year’s World Series. Including Albert Pujol’s bat.
The last day, Olivia was riding a horse for the first time. Which was very exciting to her. And not to me. So… the guy’s like, “If you’re bored, you can ride around on the 4 wheeler.” I did. For a long time. Until I flipped it. In a briar patch. I’m a little scraped up on my arms, and I have some scrapes thru my jeans, and I think I bruised a rib. Thank God I was wearing a helmet, and was thrown clear. I was going about … way too fast, and the ground sloped weird, and the stringy vine-like briars grabbed the wheel and flipped it over and me off. Pretty crazy. Surprisingly, my mom didn’t lecture me at all! I was amazed. Thank God for moms like mine.
It was a good time: being lazy, swimming, tanning, watching TV, dragging through museums, flipping 4 wheelers, retrieving a lawn chair that I accidentally let sink to the bottom of the pond, sleeping. Very good.
Not exactly my randomest post. Pretty routine. I disappoint myself. Oh well, better luck next time.
the {{screaming *penguin}}

Live is too short to waste it thinking of cool titles

2007-06-09T14:31:00.000-06:00

Hey
It’s gonna be filthy hard to summarize the whole camp experience into a concise post, so I’m not even gonna try. How’s that for an attitude. I’ll just post about what randomly flies through my brain as I type.
I found out I have a disorder of sorts: I steal silverware… I would just put a fork, knife, and spoon in my pocket in line, then, whatever I didn’t end up using at the meal, I would accidentally take with me. I even brought one knife all the way home. I guess it’s my way to remember camp, since my t-shirt’s too big.
I met a lot of really cool guys and girls. I call them “my table.” Since 6 hours a day were spent in classes, we always tried to get enough tables to where we couldn’t have scatter out, and could all sit together. And we sat together at lunch. The good-byes were terrible… Lots of hugs. I didn’t cry though.
I miss them.
So, I’m going back next year… I originally thought, “What would you get the second time?” I found out that they rotate speakers and stuff like that. If you wanna go next year, check out www.worldview.org
It’s not the funnest camp, but it’s very practical and needed by anybody.
I packed like a girl.
I’m wondering, if you call your roommate your “roomie,” do you call your suite-mate “suitee?” Who knows.
My “suitee” was pretty cool though. His sisters were flippin amazing. Unfortunately, they’re not allowed on the internet, so they’ll never know that I said that about them. It’s a tragedy. I’m going to write them the old-fashioned way though. I’m determined to.
There were a LOT of nerds there! A darn lot.
I would love to teach you everything I learned, but that would take a bigger blog. I learned a lot. Almost too much.
I expected to hang out mostly with people that I already knew, but I really didn’t… So, now I have a bunch of cool new friends, most of whom I’ll never see again. That leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth, and a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. Blecch.
I may think of more things later, so you’ll probably be hearing more on the subject as my poor, tired, little brain remembers stuff.
In about an hour, a bunch of peoples are coming over for a big softball and wiffleball game. Oh the fun.
I love people.
Be God's,
the {{screaming *penguin}}

Different

2007-06-01T15:50:00.000-06:00

Hey,
So, life is good. Life is beautiful. Life is hard. Life is rewarding. Life is amazing. Life is fun. Life is interesting. Life is scary. Life is mind-blowing. Life is my friend.
Yeah.
So is Jesus.
I like Him.
A lot.
And I like the movie Signs. It scared me. A lot. Which is probably because I don’t watch many movies, so I’m not desensitized to my fear. It was good though.
2 days till Worldview! It’s gonna be good. It’s a really thing.
This is not a usual writing style for me, but it’s kinda fun. It’s a really thing.
Summer is good.
God is good.
It’s a really thing.
Monday, I played Frisbee with some friends. It was good.
Tuesday, I did nothing of interest.
Wednesday, I don’t remember.
Thursday, I went to the lake. I saw an old, old, old, man in a speedo. I’m scarred. Mom: “I think the disgusting things at the beach far outweigh the sexy things you see at the beach” I must agree. I watched signs, and listened to the Lord of the Rings soundtrack while I did dishes. It feels more heroic when you do anything to soundtracks like that. If you do anything to Mission Impossible sound tracks, you feel like you’re awesome.
It’s a really thing.
This post is randomly frappuchino-ish.

I love rain. I love God. And I love Jesus. And I love the book of Galatians. And a lot of other stuff too, but it won't fit in the title.

2007-05-27T14:45:00.000-06:00

Hey,
It rained 4 1/2 inches Friday. I went camping while that was happening. Yeah. One of our youth leaders had scheduled this camping thing about a month before, and since everyone was gonna be there, we didn't want to move the date. When we got out there in this guy's SUV, the water in parts of the field was up to his door. For real. As we're standing there in knee deep water, Tyler's like, "Oh yeah, I have a barn on this land!" So we went and set up our tents in his very old, kinda leaky barn amidst the ancient cow poo dust. It sure beat camping in the lake or field or whatever it was at the time. After we got settled in we ate some lousy little hot dogs and goofed off until about 10, then we talked about important stuff for a while. After that, we decided we would go out in the woods and run around and be stupid. So we did. Since there were no girls to impress, and everybody knew everybody real well, we were really stupid. We sang a lot, and shot each other with the two airsoft guns we had and other things I won't put on the net. It was a real good time. When we got back we tried to dry off, then crammed 7 guys into a 4 man tent. We stayed up talking till 4 45, and then went to sleep. Until 8, when my mom came by to get me, so I could kill chickens. That was a trip. That's my least favorite day of the year. We cleaned up 60 chickens... Yeah. You know, I don't really mind working with cold meat, but when it's still warm, I just wanna hurl. And it has that hot smell to it. I'm getting shivers just thinking about it. Sam B came and he was a huge help. He's more of a man than I am on killing things and putting his hands in warm body cavities.
Once we got done, Sam and I really wanted to go to the creek and see how high it was with all the rain. We had just enough time before we'd clean up and go out to eat. We ran down there as fast as we could. The creek is totally rearranged. It's so cool the way bodies of water change so much. When we were down there looking around, it started to rain. Hard. I was bushed after getting 3 hours of sleep and then working out in the sun all day. I felt crappy. But as the rain came down, I could feel worries and tiredness of the day and the weekend washing away. That sounds corny, but that's what it felt like. I love rain. I love God. And I love Jesus. I yelled that a few times and the went tearing across the field screaming it. As I neared the large moat-thingie in the middle, I belly-flopped it. We all did that several times before running back to the house for showers and a huge burger at Braum's. I can almost kinda sorta not really understand why some cultures worshipped the weather. It's so cool. But! not as cool as the dude controlling it. I constantly find myself in the battle of "which is more important to me: following God completely or being cool and accepted and popular?" When I look at it, I know I'd have to be retarded to choose anything but God, but it's still such a dilemma for me.
I'm really looking forward to this Worldview Academy camp that I'll be going to June 3-8. It's a camp where I'll be learning about different worldviews and how they distort or make clear a person's view on life. It's also a leadership camp. I'll be going with about 8 of my friends.
Church was good, but small. I love the book of Galatians! A lot. Especially chapter 5.
the {{screaming *penguin}}

A Common Dilemma. Awkwardishness

2007-05-24T08:03:00.000-06:00

Hey,

It's been a lazy week, which leaves pretty much nothing of interest to blog of. It's a common dilemma. I was an idiot again.... I layed out in the sun for an hour and a half working on the not-quite-so-horrendously-filthy-as-it-was farmer's tan without sunscreen. I'm kinda burned again. At least I'm consistent.

Tonight is the track pizza party where we'll get all of our medals. I'm not sure how many I'll be getting. Not enough.

Next year, I'm gonna have to run with the Senior High guys instead of the Junior High, so the competition is gonna be better. Or worse, however you want to look at it. Not looking forward to that so much.

And as for the picture, the only way to get that pic as my profile pic is to post it. Is it just me, or do I kinda look like I have a mustache?

I found the stuff below somewhere. I pray to God that I'm not at all like this, but it's still funny.

Do you have a passion for "embracing the awkward"?

Are you the "awkward", people are forced to embrace?

Consider this...When you walk into a room, does it sometimes get quieter?

When you enter a circle of people conversing jovially, does the conversation just die with your "witty" one liner?

Do you think winking is a socially acceptable way to interact with others?

Have you ever said "hey so and so" and then have them respond with an enthusiastic "hey... you"?

In order to deal with any of the situations above do you laugh or giggle inappropriately/ say unheard of colloquial phrases?

If the answer is yes to any or even better all of the above, way to be awkward.

We salute you/ We are you.

the {{screaming *penguin}}

Bests, Sweet Graffiti, Keyed Up, Falseto, Jack Walkin, Happy Sadness

2007-05-20T17:37:00.000-06:00

Hey,
I’m kinda tired. Whoa.
Thursday, we had our last track practice. That stinks. I was just getting to know some of these people pretty well, and know the season’s over. I’m really looking forward to next year, even now.
Saturday we had the “National” home school meet. That’s very misleading. A better name would be “Regional Invational” home school meet, for it‘s far from National. 3 other states were there, with about 8 or 9 teams running. I set a personal best in the mile: 6:14, which, due to the incredible competition was only good for 5th place. I did ok in the 800: 2:44. By that time in the meets, my legs are shot. The last few meets my stomach has acted up really bad, and that really puts a filthy damper on my performance, not to mention it really makes me TO’d. I had people sign my track t-shirt, and as far as I know, I am the signature king. I got some sweet graffiti on it now. I’m wishing I’d done it earlier, because it makes me look like I have a ton of friends. Which I do. Sort of. On the way home, in order to keep from falling asleep, I got REALLY keyed up. I mean, like as hyper as I’ve ever been. I was really living up to Candy’s philosophy, “I’d rather have fun than be dignified.” Yeah. So mom pops in this kids sing along tape (don’t ask me why) and I discovered that I have a talent for singing falsetto (or something) like 5 octaves higher than my normal voice. (Help me out here, Molly, you know all the singing terms…) That was funny and crazy enough, but when Molly needed to get something at Wal*Mart, and Sam and I went in with her, I cut loose. I did a lovely backslide across the floor, and got some interesting looks on that. I also tried my hand, errr body, at the Cap'n Jack Sparrow walk. You know the drill, stumbling around like you don’t quite have it all together mentally bumping into stuff. Got some funky looks on that one too. Craziness. Nothing like abandoning yourself to the whims of a random mind like mine. It was a real trip. I may start doing it more often.
Church was both happy and sad… The students who were graduating brought their families, so we had like 50 people in our home, which made worship awesome. That made me happy. But…the graduating students who I’ve grown to love so much are all going their separate ways. That made me sad. Many hugs were passed out today. I’ll especially miss my amazing adopted sister Amy Rose…. She’ll be back to stay in December though…. That’s good.

Am I A Whiner?

2007-05-16T09:02:00.000-06:00

Hey,
People probably think this about me sometimes. What can I say. Hhhhmmm, I just realized that Pearls Before Swine's initials are PBS. Interesting.
Anyway, Monday night, Sam B (haha, I'm not gonna put the period after the B, Sam B, and you can't make me...) and I camped out. It was almost 40 degrees warmer than the last time we camped. It was fun, but a little too uneventful for my taste. Tuesday we had track practice. In the rain. Surprise, surprise. So we were out there running in nearly ankle deep water in spots. We did a lot of muscle-torturing stretches and exercises, and I haven't been this sore since the first day. At the end coach had everyone run a mile and a 1/2, and since my hamstring was really hurting, I didn't get to run. The one day they do my event in practice, I can't do it. Luck. Just blind luck. Geez I'm a whiner.
Last night, I started Of Mice And Men, which is so far a very sad, but very readable book. I'm anxious to see how it turns out.
And, C&ace, in response to your comment: I absolutely agree with you in my heart, you're absolutely right, it's just the rest of me that gets in the way.
As for the picture here, I find it interesting that "Scalding" would be a setting on a shower handle... Who wants to be scalded?

Your Mom Is Sunburned

2007-05-14T10:05:00.000-06:00

Hey,
I have some advice for you. Don't mow for 3 1/2 hours shirtless without sunscreen when you haven't tanned all year. I was just trying to even out my horrendously filthy farmer's tan. Let's call it "Track Star" tan instead. So I'm sunburned. I didn't even think I was capable of getting sunburned with my complexion. Obviously, I was wrong.
After all that mowing, I went to a friends Right of Passage ceremony. When kids in their family turn 13, they have a big ceremony, and have people write letters to them, and speak truth to them. It's good stuff. I led worship there, and I'm very ready for my new guitar. I'll be getting it as soon as Spfd Music gets in a shipment.
We had church on Saturday night, so the students could study for finals all day Sunday. We had a sending off time for the students graduating. Some good prayer going on. I'm really gonna miss those folks. Most of em will be back soon, but nearly all will leave for the summer.
School is almost done. I've been surprisingly industrious this spring and now I only have 3 subjects left to finish up. That's a good feeling.
Sunday afternoon, we had a huge fish fry with my dad's parents and his sister's family. My cousin Natalee, 16, is a great gal, but instead of finding her identity in God, turns to guys. So she moves from guy to guy, seeking fulfillment, and never finding it. Sometimes, I think my parents are way too so ridiculously tight on dating restrictions for me, but when I look at her, I can see why they're so protective.
Track is almost over. We have two more practices and one more meet: the national homeschool invitational in Kansas City. I've heard there's some serious competition there, and I'm kinda sorta not really wanting to run against better competition. I like running against guys that I can beat. But it will be fun.
When I was reading Rich Mullins biography: An Arrow Pointing to Heaven, I thought the way he signed stuff was really cool: "Be God's." Not "be good," but "be God's." I want to be that. As St Augustine said, "Love God, and do what you want." Or something like that.
Be God's,
the {{screaming *penguin}}

Flippin' Hot, Soggy Butt, Stellar Sale, and the Killer Latin Final

2007-05-11T12:41:00.000-06:00

Hey,
Thursday we had track practice and I would've been glad for rain. It was 85, sunny, and very humid. We had lots of water fights. I asked for Anna to get just my shirt wet, so I wouldn't have a soggy butt all day, but oh no, that would be way too nice for Anna. Needless to say, I had a bad case of soggy butt. After practice, we went to the greatest sale ever! I got 3 pairs of jeans for $6, 4 belts for $3, 5 T-shirts for $4, shoes for $2.... It was amazing. I now have a whole new wardrobe. It's gonna be a yearly tradition for us from now on. When all the Evangel students move out of the dorm for the summer, they leave a ton of clothing and other stuff. So Evangel sells it. There was so much stuff. It was awesome. It's going on all day today and Saturday... You should go.
I just got out of co-op and today I took the 7 page first half of the Latin final. It killed. Seven pages isn't so bad, but in Latin, everything is a ton harder than it should be.
This weekend I'm leading worship at a friend's right of passage ceremony, and leading worship at church, and since we're having a big BBQ at church Saturday, eating a lot. And my dad's mom is coming over on mother's day, so we'll have to get the house sparkling for her.
I hate that, a house should look like it's lived in, not like a museum piece.
The past few days have been eventful for Olivia. Wednesday night, we found a mother mouse and her very tiny micelets (is that what they're called?). That same night, our cats unearthed a rabbit nest, so Olivia adopted a rabbitlet to keep. It was so little its eyes weren't open yet. It died yesterday. She cried for a long time. Poor kid. I need to start writing my article for the newspaper, and I'm not totally sure what I wanna write on, so if you have any stellar ideas, let me know.
the {{screaming *penguin}}

Pearls Before Swine

2007-05-09T11:58:00.000-06:00

If you can't read it, just click it. I think this about my blog sometimes...

Rain

2007-05-09T11:38:00.000-06:00

Hey,
What is the deal with it always raining on track practice days and meet days? We've had more rain on Tuesdays and Thursdays than any other days. It's crazy, not to mention unfair. So I'm really sore from doing way too many lunges, the exercise/stretch from heck. And it rained, so it was hard to breathe from the humidity. I think I'll quit whining now. Oh no, I won't, b/c the zipper on my all time favorite track jacket that I'm always wearing decided to break. It makes me sad. I was gonna put buttons on it, but AmyRose said that was a bad idea. I think I agree.
Now I'm done.
What do you think of my new profile picture? I got it from Candy's blog. It's quite a story.
Deanna, who's sitting here, just said randomly, "How do you get God to work for you? Quit working for Him." I like that. Of course, you have translate it with Romans 6, so it doesn't sound sacrilegious.
I'm not feeling that random today... It's not nearly as fun this way. But, I'm spending the day at SBU, hanging around all sorts of cool people. That's good.
the {{screaming *penguin}}

The Week's End

2007-05-07T14:23:00.000-06:00

Hey,
The track meet was fun. And hot. Very hot. I ran a 6 19 mile, good for 4th place, and a 2 44 1/2 mile, good for 3rd. My stomach hurt all day, and it was hot and humid, so all things considered it was a decent performance. It was so crazy; immediately after the mile, I was just staggering around from the heat, tiredness, and stomach-hurtingness. Weird stuff. We gave Sam B. and AmyRose rides back, so it got pretty crazy in the van. AmyRose is a catalyst for catastrophe. She's decided she's now a Caddy, so I've started taking on the responsibility of being the obnoxious little brother. It's fun.
Sunday, we were the church. We actually didn't get to bible study b/c we were so busy praying for each other. It's so cool when you get that "God is so here" feeling. We worked on the Rehm's fence after church, which, by myself would've been boring and hard. But with a crowd of fun people, it was a blast. I love people.
Tonight, my parents are going to their last adoption class. I'm really looking forward to having another kid running around the house. We'll be adopting a girl under two. We don't know who it is yet, but I'm getting anxious for her to come.
Matt Fugitt burned me a copy of relient K's new CD, "Five Score and Seven Years Ago" It's good stuff. The last song is called "Deathbed" and is flippin awesome. It's about this guy lying on his deathbed, dying (duh), and the song tells his life story. It's 11 minutes long. Very good, and very serious for relient K.
The Latin final is killing so far; there's so much info that I'm not into. Oh well. I have no choice.
the {{screaming *penguin}}

I'm Being Stalked

2007-05-04T16:40:00.000-06:00

Hey,
God has incredible timing. We were 30 minutes late for track, for various reasons, so I missed out on all of the atrocious stretching and loosening up exercises. Not to mention I wasn't all sweaty and muddy for pictures. Not exactly a noble cause, but I'm thankful.
We have the State meet on Saturday, and for the first time in a long while, I'm nervous about a sporting event. It's good to actually be a contender for a change.
Lately, I've been stalked by a girl from one of the opposing track teams we often run against. She calls my house late at night, gets my parents on the phone, asks for me, and is very reluctant to give them her name when they persist that they don't let nameless girls they don't know talk to me. My mom finally got her name, and I know who it is. I didn't even give her my number. I guess she looked me up in the phone book... And this on the heels of another girl paying one of her guy friends to ask me out for her. Craziness.
Molly assures me that it's my fault b/c I'm too friendly, and I talk to girls too much, too long, and too nicely. I must confess, I'd rather be stalked occasionally than go without talking to girls. I think I'd shrivel up and die. Don't worry about me becoming a monk.
So, be thinking of me tomorrow at the meet. I'd appreciate it. I want to win... Oh, and I have a huge final in Latin that I'm very worried about, b/c it's insanely long and hard.
the {{screaming *penguin}}

Syllableness, Randomness, Amish Rebel, Soreishness, Christian Self Help

2007-05-02T10:52:00.000-06:00

Hey,
Yeah, I know, half the words in the title aren't real words. It's more fun that way. I often add syllables to words just for kicks. For example: alphabetimatized, which is my version of alphabetized. Then there's congraduladations, which is my customized version of congratulations. I get strange looks from people when I use them.

I'm feeling kind of random today, in case you couldn't tell.

Ok, so today I was on Facebook, and in the drop-down menu for "Religious Beliefs" there's the option "Christian-Amish." What kind of Amish person has Facebook? Some very sinful Amish rebel type I guess. Amish Rebel... That just doesn't work.

At track Tuesday, we ran a lot of sprints in addition to our normal work outs, and my quads are flippin sore. Yeah. I'm really looking forward to the state meet this Saturday in Lebanon. You should come. Email me if you want directions: thescreamingpenguin@gmail.com.

I was thinking the other day about the very large Self Help section of the Christian bookstores. Isn't that kind of oxymoronicish? I mean, the whole point of Christian life is not helping yourself, and fully surrendering to God, and allowing Him to transform you right? If I wrote a Christian Self Help book it would be this passage from Ephesians 4: "You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness."
And this from Romans 6: "For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin— because anyone who has died has been freed from sin."
the {{screaming*penguin}}

Tiredishness

2007-04-30T12:28:00.000-06:00

Hey,
I'm tired. I worked my butt, or as Olivia or AmyRose would have me say, my bottom off at the homeschool convention. Much of the time was spent wandering around the large building, answering people's questions. When I wasn't doing that, I was helping vendors load or unload their wares. I had to wear a yellow vest, and that was the only bad thing. My favorite part was that any girls going across the street to eat had to have a guy escort. Enter Zach. Nothing like having girls ask you to walk them across the street and eat with them. I met some more cool girls from Tennessee: Danya and Mallory. I'll not mention the others from Tennessee, they know who they are. And the stairs in the building had rails absolutely perfect for sliding down. I got pretty good at that.
Sunday, a guy on SBU's track team came to church. He runs a mile in 4:30, and the 1/2 mile in 2:00. I can't imagine doing that. After church, we went over to an elderly friends house to clean up his land. That was a blast. Anything + college students = fun. Oh yeah, my dad has a blog now: http://www.backinthecave.blogspot.com/ He'd love for you to visit and comment. An old man like him needs his ego boosts.
the {{screaming *penguin}}

Whipage

2007-04-25T10:41:00.000-06:00

Hey,
I'm refusing to introduce this adequately. Monday, after slaving away at a ton of school, I, along with my toothless neighbor Sam S and Luke, headed down to our creek. We were all over. It's still pretty high. Before the ice storm shoved a bunch of debris in the way, we would go off the awesome rope swing nearly every time we went to the creek. I'd really been missing it, and Sam talked me into trying it even though there was brush in the way. He convinced me, and I convinced myself that I could clear it. I was wrong. I went off, and I caught the debris with my legs, which spun me around into a large branch. My back looks like Indiana Jones got me with his whip. It's not good. It was worth it though, we laughed for a long time.
Tuesday we had a meet on our crappy grass track. I did really bad in the mile, because my breathing was simply pathetic. Pretty sad. My time was 6:45. I really bounced back for the 1/2 mile though. I had been trailing this one guy the whole race, and at the end I decided I really wanted to beat him. So I did, by half a second. My time improved by 8 seconds. Time: 2:37.
It rained like 2 inches last night, so I'm really hoping I can find the time to get down their while it's still really high.
the {{screaming *penguin}}

Faster Track Times And Rowdy Good Times

2007-04-22T19:22:00.000-06:00

Hey,
So Saturday I broke some more personal records! I knocked off 35 more seconds in the mile, getting me down to 6:15. I also knocked off 15 more seconds in the 1/2 mile, getting me down to 2:45. Those times won me third in the mile, and third in the 1/2 mile. I should be getting some medals for those places.
Track is so much fun. The meet was past Joplin, so we had to drive 2 hours, but it was worth it. The track, instead of grass, was rubber. The stuff is so cool to run on. Track is my dream sport. Here's how it goes: We sit around and talk for 8 hours, and I only ran a total of just under 10 minutes. Little effort, much hanging out. The ultimate social sport. Zach's model for all of life. It's so fun getting to know some new friends and strengthening old friendships. Lots of cool kids at track. It was like 80 degrees all day, and really sunny, so I was really tired and hungry. On the way home, we stopped at Braum's and I ordered a "Bag o Burgers." That's my kind of meal: 5 burgers and a chocolate malt. The only thing it needed was fries, but I had already spent too much.
Today, after a great bible study time in church, me and Luke and 5 college students went down to the creek. It got rowdy real fast. As soon as we were ankle deep in water, AmyRose started a fight, by pushing Luke. and soaking him. She still claims Luke started it. You gotta watch that chick. We all ended up picking sides and battling it out with mud and water. It was a great day for fun. I really enjoy college students.
The next week and weekend are going to be extremely busy for me. Tuesday, track practice. Wednesday, SBU all day. Thursday, co-op and working at homeschool convention. Friday, working. Saturday, working. Sunday, church and cleaning up a friend's yard with the church. I just hope I can get all my school done.
the {{screaming *penguin}}

Track Improvment

2007-04-18T09:50:00.000-06:00

Hey,

Tuesday, we had a track meet, and I busted all of my previous records. I knocked off 45 seconds (!) in the mile, getting me down to 6:50. I knocked off 10 seconds in the 1/2 mile, getting me down to 3:03, and winning me 4th place. I knocked half a sec off in my 100, getting me down to 16 even. What a day! It was so fun. I really didn't anticipate getting into track this much at all. I wasn't even sure I was going to join in the beginning. I'm very glad I did. Many thanks to all the people who blackmailed me into it.

The next meet, I won't have to run against anyone over 15. At the all the previous meets, I'm placing within 3 of the other guys in my age division. I'm really looking forward to that meet, where I can actually contend. So, it feels great to be in this kind of shape. I haven't been this good in a long time. Above is the guitar I will be buying as soon as the opportunity presents itself. The picture doesn't do it justice.

Laters,

the {{screaming*penguin}}

Canoeing, Flipping, and De-Mousing

2007-04-16T18:41:00.000-06:00

Hey Everyone,
Saturday, we had a 40-person party in our home. You can read about it here. The acoustics of our home are fantastic for large number of people singing. Such resonance. It's great. Sunday, since most of our church went canoeing, and since my dad was preaching at a church in Spfd, I went with him. There were a lot of students from SBU that I know. And, I met the guitar of my dreams. I'm pretty much sure now. I'll put a picture of it on here later. I can't wait. As I sit here blogging, my legs, especially my poor calves, are aching. I've been running a lot, improving my times. It's rough.
Today, after getting grace from the editor-in-chief of the high ground newsletter, I began my article on Pelosi's recent trip to Syria. It's gonna be good, but not as good as my last article. I had been procrastinating a wee bit about it; it was due today. Sam B came over today from 12 to 6. After slaving away through Algebra class together, we headed outside to jam. We had our amps up SO loud... I wonder if my neighbors heard me. It was great. We decided to go canoeing in our now full creek. It was a little difficult paddling against the current, but we only had to get out and push 3 or 4 times on the way up. After reaching our land, we took a break. We then decided to carry it up to a really fast spot. We had carried it about halfway across the creek, and suddenly Sam was like "Mice! Mice! Mice!" And there they were, two mice had come out of a small enclosed area of the canoe. I'm SO glad that they hadn't come out when we were all in the canoe. I'm kinda freaked out by mice. So, Sam and Luke just had to play with them for a while. After one escaped the canoe, we - man, I'm saying "after" way too much, my humble apologies.., - anyways, after one escaped the canoe we took the canoe out into the water and flipped it over. Yes, I know it's animal cruelty. It's really funny to see a mouse swim. Their feet go extremely fast. Once we got down the creek aways, we were picking up a little too much speed in somewhat precarious waters. We were going real fast, and suddenly, like two feet away, there was a giant thorn tree directly in out sights. It was going to scrape me off, and I wasn't too interested in that, so I leaned very hard out of the way. So did everyone else. Needless to say, we flipped. I was trapped under for a sec, but was ok. The water was way to cold for that. So there we were, wet, cold, and needing to get the canoe on shore before it sank all the way to the bottom. That took a while. It was very heavy. Even after all that exercise, Sam and I still ran a mile. Just applaud our work ethic. We're so amazing. Track meet tomorrow. I'll let you know
Until Next Post,
the {{screaming *penguin}}

Praying For Possums...

2007-04-13T13:00:00.000-06:00

Hey Everyone,

After blogging Wednesday, I limped all over the SBU campus, attending chapel and my dad's "Spiritual Formations" class, which is just a fancy term for Christian Life and Living and stuff like that. Pretty interesting. I fell in love with a beautiful bass guitar which I cannot buy, b/c I have to buy an acoustic electric first. It makes me wish I was rich. That evening mom went to hang out with some of her friends, so me, dad, and the kids hung out at home. We watched The Odd Couple. It's old and very funny. Some of the best comedy acting ever. Highly recommended, even if you have to put up with some language, and skip one scene. It's 1967, so nothing real bad. Thursday, I wanted to wake up at 6 45 (yes, AM) so I could catch up on some school. Unfortunately, I set the alarm for 6 45 PM. Oh well, it was a good try. We had track practice, in the cold, but no rain this time, thank God. It was ok. I've decided to give up long jump. I like it ok, but I stink at it, and it's really starting to hurt my knees. I replaced it with the 100m dash. Not exactly my specialty, but I have to sign up for three events. That evening, I went over to the neighbors to work out some music stuff. It was good, even if their house is always like 85 degrees when it's cold outside. Today, on the way to co-op, I saw a dead possum in the road. I was thinking to myself, "Poor possum." Normally, when I hear things like that in the news, or when I see an ambulance, I pray a quick little prayer for whoever's family and them. Before I knew what I was doing, I had started a prayer for the possum's family. Fortunately, I caught myself at about, "Father, I..." Then I felt like a total idiot and stopped. My brain... How it works, I'll never understand.

Track meet Tuesday. I'll let you know.

Until Next Post,

the {{screaming*penguin}}

Bad Weather, Excellent Competition, MI:III, Gangsta Limp,

2007-04-11T08:33:00.000-06:00

Hey Everyone,
Tuesday was the worst weather imaginable for a track meet. It was about 40 degrees, drizzling all day, the ground was all wet, and very windy. The ground wasn't windy; that's not what I meant. You understand. Very British weather. Not exactly ideal conditions for running, to say the least. I ran the 1 mile in 7:29 (that's minutes and seconds, not hours and minutes, as some might think). I got 8th of about 13. I ran the 1/2 mile in 3:10, coming in 7th of about 10. At the last second, one of the guys on the 1/4 mile relay dropped out, and I stepped in. The 1/4 is definitely my worst race. Not pretty. We were competing against 5 or 6 teams from the KC area, and they were really good. Not to mention, there was no age division. I was running against 17 and 18 year olds. But, it was a lot of fun just to hang out in the gym and talk for 5 hours. Definitely a plus. One of my friends and I were watching Mission Impossible III, on another guy's iPod. When we got to one of the most suspenseful, "oh-my-gosh" moments of the movie, the battery died. It stunketh. This morning I woke up and could barely move. I have this lovely gangsta/pimp/blues-man limp thing going on. It's pretty funny.
Until Next Post,
the {{screaming*penguin}}

So Busy!

2007-04-09T19:38:00.000-06:00

Hey Everyone,
I have been so busy, it's not even funny.
Tuesday: at the track meet, it hailed just after we got started, so that threw everything off schedule. I ended up doing bad in the 400 meter (1/4 mile) and long jump, but I got third place in the 800 (1/2 mile). That's now my main event. I kind of surprised me. Thursday, I pretty much flunked a co-op Latin test, and dissected a very smelly perch. Dissecting is ok, but it stinks in a very literal way. Actually, I didn't get to finish the perch, because I had to leave early for track practice. See what I mean about busy? And this is the abbreviated, Reader's Digest version. After I ran 1 1/2 miles, at the end, coach tells us we all have to run a mile. Let's just say I surprised myself again. I was pretty dang sore again though. Friday, after playing ultimate Frisbee for forever, only to have my team lose 15 to 2, my friend Sam B and I camped out. No, really. It was like 20 degrees for a low, and we braved the elements. It was very fun. This time, I had my mom cook for us, so Sam wouldn't be subjected to whatever a slacker like me would whip up in 3 minutes. Everyone was joking that me and Sam would be running back to the house after the cold hit, but we proved them wrong. It was my first test of my "20 degree comfort-rated" sleeping bag. I'm just wondering: Whose comfort rate is that? Some woolly yak man? Because it didn't quite meet my definition of comfortable. And lying next to me in his not nearly as nice as mine $20 walmart sleeping bag is Sam. While I'm wearing layer upon layer of thermal underwear and the like and shivering just a wee bit, he's in his lousy bag, in his underwear and just toasty. That guy is not like the rest of us. He's a far different breed of man. Saturday, much goofing off with Sam. That evening our family celebrated Passover. It was our first time ever to do it with only our family. Usually, we make a party out of it, and have lots of people over. My friend, Priscilla blogged about her family's Passover and why they do it. Click her name to check it out. Sunday, we had church in Bolivar, but we didn't eat together. It kinda stunk because of that. So much of our church experience happens when we're just hanging out, and not officially "having church." That's one of my peeves with traditional church. There's not nearly as much community, just chillin time. After leaving Bolivar, we went to my Mimi's house, and ate. And ate. And ate. It was good. My college student friend Matt Overturf joined us. He's a cool dude. All day today I studied and studied and studied. With so much going on, it's hard to get all my school done. Oh yeah, I have a track meet tomorrow. I'm running the mile, the 1/2 mile, and jumping the long jump, even though I stink at it. I'll try not to let so much time pass between posts next time.
Until Next Post,
the {{screaming *penguin}}

3 Concerts in 4 Days

2007-04-02T16:57:00.000-06:00

Hey Everyone,
Wow! What a weekend! Friday night I had the greatest time at the BB King concert. The guy's 81 and still has it. His band was awesome too. 4 horns, a great bassist, a great rhythm guitarist... on and on. He didn't do a lot of singing, which meant more guitar, a plus. He did talk a lot tho. About pretty much everything. After the concert Garrett and I watched Homestar Runner until past midnight. That will warp your brain like nothing else. Saturday, I returned home after a huge breakfast at Ziggy's, one of my new favorite restaurants. That night we went to see Charlie Hall, who is a great rock worship leader. That reads like he worships rocks. That's not what I meant. He worship God with rock music. It was a great concert. I got to meet Charlie and his band, and my dad's is gonna try to get him to play at SBU. After the concert, we went drag racing with a 2004 Corvette!
My dad attempted to outrun a Corvette. It was a drag race, us in out OLD (but fun) Toyota Camry, and him in his '04 Chevy Corvette. We went from 0-20 in, oh, thirty minutes, but as soon as he saw us gunning it, he sped up a lot . He probably hit 60 to 70 on a 45 mile an hour street. He looked ticked too.
So now we're laughing because we just tried to drag race a Corvette. Every time we’re near him on the road, my dad guns the 4-cylinder engine. He still looks ticked. We pull in front of him about ten minutes from our house. Suddenly, at every turn, he follows us. Every turn. We get off Kansas Expressway, he follows. We turn down in front of the Ozark Empire Fairgrounds. He follows. We turn on to Grant Street, and he followed. It was creepy, like he was mad at us. We even got a little nervous and I pulled out my cell phone for 911, just in case.
As we turn into my friends' subdevelopment, my friend swears up and down the guy turned his blinker on, but didn’t turn. We all let out a huge sigh of relief. Afterwards we all joked and talked about us taking him on in a fight (my dad and his "butt-kickin' shoes"). It was so funny, but for a while, it really was weird.
But, we did beat the guy for a second there.
While I was at the concert, I missed some March Madness. The two remaining teams, Florida and Ohio St, will face off tonight. Go Ohio St! Sunday, excellent time at church. All the students stayed until 4 30, doing just about everything. Olivia spent some time dressing up the 4 girls in her dress-up outfits. Over their clothes of course. That was real trip. It was hilarious. I'm running at my first track meet Tuesday. Wish me Godspeed.
Until Next Post,
the {{screaming *penguin}}

Long Time, No Post

2007-03-30T12:36:00.000-06:00

Hey Everyone,

March Madness... I'm mad because my team got beat, and the team I called to win it all got beat, and everyone I liked got beat by a team that I either loathe, or don't at all care about. It stinks. I think I'll go for Ohio St now. Now... What all hath happened...

I'll hit the highlights: Last Thursday was my first track practice. I was so sore the next day, I could hardly walk. I'm getting better tho. Lots of kids at track who I don't already know and an looking forward to getting to know better. As for the track aspect: let's just say I won't be getting any college scholarships with those kind of skills. But it is a lot of fun. Last Friday, our new HP computer came in. It's great. Windows Vista is really cool, from a non-techy's perspective. That same Friday, we headed to my grandparents. When I was little, going to my grandparents was "the event." Now, it's a bit of a drag. But at least they have cable TV, and I get to stay up late and sleep in and be lazy while I'm there. The weekend was spent watching men's and women's basketball. Tuesday, driving four hours to track practice. Stretching just kills me. I have to be the least flexible person on earth! Wednesday, I saw Derek Webb (formerly of Caedmon's Call) in concert. The guy is not a super incredible guitarist, but he can write amazing lyrics like no one else. He's been banned from several Christian bookstore chains because he uses (I'm not sure the right word is...) descriptive language... That's not really it though. Anyway, he says the things that a lot of people, myself included, think, but are too scared to say. Very good stuff. I also discovered that AmyRose Tomlinson has a tattoo on the bottom of her foot, as if anyone cares... Thursday, another very rigorous track practice. I signed up for a 400 meter, an 800 meter, and the long jump for our meet this coming Tuesday. I'm decent at the 400 and 800, and I signed up for long jump because each person has to sign up for at least 3 events, even if they don't want to. Tonight, I'M GOING TO SEE BB KING IN CONCERT! If you don't know who he is, that's kind of sad. He's one of the greatest blues guitarists ever (pictured above). And I'm going to see him with my friend, and I don't even have to pay for my ticket! Yes!

As for my life in general, I'm feeling a lot better. Not that my feeling should dictate my life or anything though. I'm trusting my dad, and Jesus, and my good friends who provided so much encouragement to me. I thank God for all of you.

Until Next Post,

the {{screaming *penguin}}

Trust... The Magic Ingredient

2007-03-20T14:12:00.000-06:00

Hey Everyone,
Well, I'm still on the upswing. Stayed up late again talking with my dad. I think the biggest thing is gonna be trust. If I can trust him and my mom I think everything will go a lot better. I think my heart wants to trust them and all, but my flesh is not with the program. Just pray that I can, even when it doesnt' seem true or right or practical what I'm being told, just believe what they say. Thnx again.
zach

Much Improved

2007-03-19T17:19:00.000-06:00

Hey Everyone,
Thanks so much for the encouragement that I received from you through comments, phone calls, and emails. I’m so blessed to have friends that really care about me and my life. So, while I’m still feeling a little "blah" about life in general, I’m much improved. I stayed up last night until 11, talking with my parents about what I posted of along with a few other matters, like a few character flaws that are starting to mess things up. The Enemy has really been exploiting those. I’m a little at odds with some of their opinions on certain things, but much improved from 4 or 5 days ago. I’m sure in a few years, I’ll look back and see how right they were, but I’m not so sure right now. I’ve kinda come to the conclusion that being 15 kinda (excuse me) sucks sometimes. While I apologize for the risqué language (at least to some) it conveys how I feel better than "stinks" does. Again, thanks so much for encouragement.
On the current events side of things, Friday, since I had already babysat once that week, mom hired a babysitter for us. At 15, it’s more like a party when some fun college girl comes over and hangs out for a few hours. Saturday, working on our former home FOR THE LAST TIME! Praise God. Payday’s coming. The rest of the day, we layed around and watched March Madness. March Madness… How I love it. I predict North Carolina and Kansas in the finals, with Kansas winning it all. Go KU! Sunday, we went to church with another group. I led worship, and used a microphone for the first time. I can see why people use them. Normally, after leading, my voice is raw and tired. After leading with the mike, I was fine, and people could actually hear me. I gotta get one. After church, since there was a girls-only baby shower going on at my house, the guys of the family went to the dollar theatre (make that $2.50 theatre) and saw Eragon. While it was pretty good, after Lord Of The Rings, every other fantasy film is kinda lame. Today, after staying up till 11 and praying and weeping in bed until Midnight, I’m kinda tired, but I got my school done, and turned in my article to the homeschool newspaper.
Until Next Post,
A Much Improved {{screaming*penguin}}

Struggles

2007-03-16T13:05:00.000-06:00

Hey Everyone,
Pray for me. I've been struggling here lately; just wanting to reject the values and beliefs that have been (lovingly) forced upon me by my family. Sometimes I just want to quit the whole "be good" thing. Lately has been one of those times. I know deep down what's best for me, but I ... just want to take a break from it sometimes. I found a verse in Psalms though that really helped me out Wednesday. I was just praying, crying, and longing for I'm not sure what, and I just flipped open to Psalms and started reading. Psalm 27:14 (in the Message) "Stay with God! Take heart. Don't quit. I'll say it again: Stay with God." That definitely speaks to my situation...

Throwing acid is wrong, in some people's eyes

2007-03-14T12:23:00.000-06:00

"Milk without fat is like a nonalcoholic scotch."

"My mom always said normal was just a cycle on the washing machine"

"Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you're finished."

"I was in a bookstore last week. There was a third off all titles. I bought The Lion, The Witch"

"Introducing "Lite," the new way to spell "Light," but with 20% fewer letters"

"3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the population"

"Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics."

"There are three kinds of people. Those who can count, and those who can't.

"Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says, 'Do you know how to drive one of these things?'"

"The pain-relieving ingredient. There's always gotta be a lot of that. Nobody wants anything less that extra strength. Figure out what'll kill me, and back it off ... just a little bit."

And now, for you math haters (myself included): "What do you get when you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi.

Dramatic Title

2007-03-12T11:18:00.000-06:00

Hey Everyone,
Gosh, it's been a long time. As I mentioned in a previous post, I went to a missions conference with my dad. Conference might be a little misleading. He spoke at a church that was four hours away on missions, and I went with him. We went to an incredible museum on Winston Churchill. He's now one of my heroes. What an amazing guy. What's sad though, is he lost in the election immediately after the war. Nuts. Next to the museum, there was a 400 year old church, which was moved (!) from England in the '60s. It was awesome, and had some amazingly intricate woodwork. Very cool. Wednesday, guitar lesson, and, at church, trying to sculpt a sheep in my mouth out of a tootsie roll. Let's just say mine looked realistically challenged. I'm not sure what the spiritual significance of the game was, it was probably just for fun. Saturday, my family and I went to Willard and had BBQ brisket with a bunch of friends there. I probably had 2 or 3 pounds of the stuff. I almost ended up playing bass in a Bluegrass festival thing in Willard, but that fell through. Next time, hopefully. Church was great Sunday. We had 12 students form SBU come. They had camped the night before and stayed up till 4, but they were still fun. They hung out at our house 3 hours longer than normal. It was great fun: playing piano and guitar, swapping stories, and planning to build a log cabin on our place (Yes!). Amy Rose's younger sister will be sending me sheet music for my favorite Coldplay song from St Louis. She had Converse. She was cool. We'll be ordering our fabulous new HP laptop in the next few days. Liberation from early '90s computer is coming!
Until Next (Long, Tedious) Post,
the {{screaming *penguin}}

How Well Do You Know Me?

2007-03-06T09:06:00.000-06:00

Hey,
I know you probably don't have the time to do this 6 question test, but if you do, give it a shot. Click here: http://www.truefriendtest.com/friendtest/99847
Until Next Post,
the {{screaming *penguin}}

Just Call Me "Mr. The King"

2007-03-05T13:28:00.000-06:00

Hey Everyone,
Let's see, what all has happened? Thursday evening, I came home to a house full of a family we don't know that well. We watched them from 4 pm Thursday to 4 pm Saturday. Considering the circumstances, it went alright. Not considering the circumstances, it was a little rough. The 16-year-old, as I mentioned before, is severely mentally retarded, mute, can't feed herself, and can't walk well. That brought some difficulty. Then there was the 18-month-old baby girl. She was really sweet, and not too hard. The boys were a piece of cake. I learned quite a bit that weekend. Saturday evening, I starred in a play on the book of Esther as King Xerxes. That was ... interesting. I was in the play twice when I was little, but I was way out of practice, and we didn't rehearse at all. It was totally ad-lib. I was really glad I wasn't in the audience. I would've been bored to death. I was telling my mom that, used to, when the actors were little, the play was lousy and cute. Now with the kids older, it's just lousy. I also told her that since realistic is just not going to happen, we should just go for funny/stupid/retarded. The older female director said no. I tried. I won't elaborate too much on that; it was sad. That was church, so Sunday morning we sat around, and that afternoon, we worked at our former home. Again. Maybe for the last time. Payday's coming, hallelujah. Tuesday, I'll be going to a conference in Jeff City. Should be interesting. Currently , I'm working on an article on global warming for the homeschool newspaper. It's going. I've been thinking about going to Camp Barnabas this summer, and I'll probably end up going with some of my friends as a Counselor. I'm still not 100% sure yet though. If you or someone you know is interested, check out www.campbarnabas.org
Until Next Post,
the {{screaming *penguin}}

2007-03-01T15:46:00.000-06:00

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is:
Imperial Majesty Zach the Wholesome of Mousehole by Sea
Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

Real Beauty?

2007-03-01T10:38:00.000-06:00

Hey Everyone,

I found an ad similar to the one above in my little sister's American Girl catalog.

If the caption is too small to see, it reads: "Introducing a new line of bath and body care especially for girls who know that real beauty comes from feeling your best." First off, if I'm just blowing hot air, or interpreting this wrong, tell me. I was talking with my seven-year-old sister, Olivia, and asked her if that where real beauty comes from. She responded, "No, real beauty is if you have Jesus in your heart." From the mouths of children...

This weekend my family will watching four children for some friends of ours. There are two boys, ages 11 and 6, who will be pretty easy. There are two girls, ages 1 and 16. The sixteen-year-old is handicapped. She's mute, and at about 80% mental capacity. It could be a tough weekend, who knows. Pray for us.

I've been at SBU today. Over lunch I heard some bizarre stories from my dad and friends about their college days. My dad ... who knew he used to be so crazy, unpredictable, and cool. He's still got a wee bit of that left, but not nearly enough for my tastes...

Until Next Post,

the {{screaming *penguin}}

Look At That Fro!

2007-02-24T10:46:00.000-06:00

Hey Everyone,
This pic is from a few months ago, the day before all that hair was cut off. I finally got it on here from my friends computer.
Now, on to more current events. Friday morning, our fix-it man, Alex, came out to fix the roof. While that was being done, I hung out all day with my friend Sam B. We probably rode 2 or 3 miles on our bikes, hiked through the woods for an hour, and went canoeing in our creek for 2 hours. Canoeing might not be the right term. Let's try dragging. That water was way to cold to be in up to our knees, but we had nothing better to do, so, you know. I spent that night at his house, watching two Indiana Jones movies, eating pizza, and being rowdy. Meanwhile, back at the house, my dad and Alex stayed up until 3:30 in the morning working on the roof, and keeping people inside awake with constant noise. I'm really glad I went to Sam's. So far, today, Sunday, we had church. It was good; we're still studying Galatians. I like it. Oh yeah, I helped Sam set up a blog: http://www.venividivulture.blogspot.com/. The blog is kinda lame as of now, but he'll improve it.
Until Next Post,
the {{screaming*penguin}}

Happenings

2007-02-21T11:01:00.000-06:00

Hey Everyone,

You'll never believe what I forgot to post about! (Yes, grammar freaks, I just ended a sentence with a preposition.)Monday morning, the temperature was great, but the wind was blowing in gusts of 45 mph. Our house has metal roofing, and during the ice storm some of the (temporary) fasteners came out. Monday, a 35' piece of metal roofing came loose and was banging against the side of the house. We all huddled in the basement, afraid it was gonna come in through a window. My mom called dad at the office, and got him to come home, and temporarily fix it. Disclaimer: my mom wouldn't let me do it. It will be fixed completely by the week's end. I probably forgot to post about it b/c over the past few years, I've gotten used to houses doing tragic things unexpectedly. Monday night I only got about 6 hours of sleep, b/c I came down with a stomach virus. I'm ok now (Wednesday). Tuesday night, my parents went to a meeting on adoption, so I babysat. We, my family that is, are going to "Foster-Adopt." That means we'll take care of a child whose parents are unable to do so. If the parents recover, they get the child back. If they don't, we have another family member. I may be a big bro again... Kind of scary.

Until Next Post,

the {{screaming*penguin}}

Working, Partying, Worshiping, And Having Fun

2007-02-19T16:35:00.000-06:00

Hey Everyone,
It’s been an eventful few days. From 9 in the morning to 3 in the afternoon, my family and I were hauling debris off of our former property. The weather was not kind: 25 degrees for an average temp and 20 – 35 mph winds. What a day. At 3 I was taken home to clean up for a party. The party was fun. For one activity, teams of 6 were given a bag full of random objects and given 15 minutes to come up with a skit using all of the random objects. I ended up dressing up in an apron and assassinating Hillary Clinton with a hair dryer. I'll spare you the details. The worship was just absolutely awesome though. It started out as a typical worship at these parties. Me accompanied by me. But people kept showing up with instruments. The building we were in had a stage, and we (against the rules) used it, along with their sound system and piano. Collin, on his bass, and David, on the piano, and I with guitar and lead vocals were the main "band." I totally felt in tune, no pun intended, with God that night. It was really amazing, and one of my best worship experiences. Lately at church, we’ve been having a lot of college students, primarily girls, attending. It makes for a lot of fun after church. I know at least one of them has a blog: www.xanga.com/amyrosetomlinson. She’s really cool. Sunday afternoon I went to the Bolivar park to clean it up. I was joined by about 25 SBU students (a few of whom were from church), and Luke, and my dad. It was a lot more fun than clean-up on Saturday for two reasons: one, it was 50 degrees Sunday, and two, it was fun to hang out with all the students.
Until Next Post,
the {{screaming*penguin}}

2007-02-16T15:28:00.000-06:00

Hhhhhhhhhmmmmmm...

2007-02-16T14:27:00.000-06:00

Hey Everyone,
How should I intro this... Hhhhhmmmm. That's good, I guess. Let's get on with it. Wednesday was spent at SBU, going to guitar lessons, and playing guitar at some friends' house. SBU has been offered $10,000 in exchange for 2000 man hours cleaning up some city property. My dad has been working his tail off at the cemetery. SBU will use half of the money to help send students on mission trips, while the other half will go towards a Good Samaritan home in Africa somewhere. The guitar lesson went well; I learned some new riffs which I hope to use soon. I've been invited to join a band, but I'm not really sure if it's the best thing, or if it's gonna work out. It would be cool though. Valentine's Day, since I don't have a girlfriend or significant other, was pretty routine. I just made Valentines for my family. I must admit, I was pretty darn creative this year... Thursday was stay-at-home-and-do-school-day. Today so far, I got raving reviews on my writing assignment, regretted wearing layers b/c it was stinking hot in the B's basement, aced through Biology I, and barely survived Latin class. This weekend I'll be working like mad (to sound British) clearing brush, and going to a party, and going to church, and working Sunday afternoon, clearing brush... I'm gonna be drained.
Until Next Post,
the {{screaming*penguin}}

It's Been A While

2007-02-13T16:13:00.000-06:00

Hey Everyone,
Let's just take it day by day. Wednesday I had my first guitar lesson with my new teacher, and it went well. Our youth teacher's wife found out she had kidney stones Wednesday morning, so we didn't have a teacher. All of the other guys but one had a gig playing at a local church, so me and Phil helped out with the 4 and 5- year -olds. 3 kids in that class have serious ADHD problems. Wow. Thursday, we were at the library all afternoon studying up for a quarterly biology test. Yuck. Friday, we had co-op at our home. That evening, we children headed to my dad's parents for the weekend, while mom and dad went to a marriage retreat. I spent the weekend making sure Luke and Olivia didn't get on my grandparent's nerves, and laying around, and being fed like crazy. I was full the entire time. At each meal, they'd ask me four or five times if I wanted more. It was awesome. On Sunday, I attended my grandparent's church. I was impressed by the number of youth attending, but not equally impressed by the depth of the material presented in class. That sounds kind of cynical, so I'll add that I did have a good time. That afternoon, we headed to the mall to hit the sales, and scored. I got some shoes similar to the ones above. I love sales. Monday, by me, was spent at home babysitting, while my mom took Luke to the doctor to get his sore foot looked at. They couldn't tell her anything, and he'll have to see a foot specialist. Which means more babysitting. Today has been spent at home, slaving away at school, while snow gently falls. But not nearly enough snow to sled on. I'm really annoyed when it's 20 degrees for a hi, and there's no snow. What a ripoff.
You know that poem "If" I posted a while back? I was thinking of an alternate beginning line. Instead of "If you can keep you head when all about you are losing theirs ... you'll be a man, my son" How about, "If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, you'll be the tallest guy in the room."
Until Next Post,
the {{screaming *penguin}}

Super Bowl Commercials

2007-02-08T15:15:00.000-06:00

Hey Everyone,
Here's a link to a site where you can watch all the super bowl commercials. http://cbs.sportsline.com/nfl/postseason/superads
There are a few iffy ones, so be careful...
Until Next Post,
the {{screaming*penguin}}

The Galatians, The Super Bowl, And Prince...

2007-02-06T16:01:00.000-06:00

Hey Everyone,
A little bit has actually happened since the last post, for once. Saturday was spent was in the cold, cleaning up the yard of our former home. Still a lot of work to be done, and money to be made there. That afternoon, we got another inch of white stuff. Sledding lasted until yesterday evening. It was great. The money we make will go towards a concrete basketball court and an above-ground swimming pool. I'm looking forward to both. Sunday, we had church at our house, and began studying the book of Galatians. The church in Galatia reminds me very much of the American church of today. As for the Super Bowl, I'll summarize:

1. The Colts were great
2. The rain was bad, and messed things up
3. The Bears hung on
4.The commercials were at best, average (for the super bowl) and at worst, mediocre.
5.Prince: he put on the absolute worst performance I've ever seen. The whole concert was recorded and he lip-synced and air-guitared through it. And the guitar. Words fail me. Me and my numerous musician friends could've done a far better job, any day of the week. Did I mention how stupid his purple guitar looked. Oh yes, and the Aunt Jemima head wear. Again, words fail me. Monday, we sat around at home. Tuesday, today, pretty much the same thing. Tomorrow, I'll be starting guitar lessons with a new teacher in Bolivar. Looking forward to that.
Until Next Post,
the {{screaming *penguin}}

Snow!

2007-02-01T15:59:00.000-06:00

Hey Everyone,
We have snow! God has really made up for the snow-drought of the last three years. Yesterday afternoon, we got about 2 inches of packable, wet snow, perfect for sledding and snowball fights. Luke and I went down to the creek earlier today and made several snowmen and threw them in. Very fun to watch them explode when they hit the water, and float downstream, melting little by little. Kind of sadistic, I suppose...

I got that biology test done, and I think I did ok. At least I hope I did. Don't I sound confident...

I recently checked out Jeremy Camp's newest record, Beyond Measure, from the library. In the song Tonight, there's a line that goes, "...The only thing worth holding onto is holding onto me..." I like that.
Until Next Post,
the {{screaming*penguin}}

Zits

2007-01-30T14:22:00.000-06:00

If you can't see it, just click it.

Nada

2007-01-30T13:50:00.000-06:00

Hey,
I don't have a lot of time here. Since I last posted, nothing has happened. I just have a Science test coming up. I absolutely hate studying for science tests. One of my least favorite things.
Until Next Post,
the {{screaming*penguin}}

A Poem, A Job, A Scare, And A Musician...

2007-01-28T17:39:00.000-06:00

Hey Everyone,
I usually don't like reading poetry that much, because I have a terrible tendency to just skim thru it and not really read it, if you know what I mean. But this one's is really worth the time.

Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,

Or being hated, don't give way to hating

,And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;

If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,'

Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,

And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Now, on to current events. Saturday, we cleared the yard of our former home. It was kind of nice, to see the old place again. This morning, I woke up, and the power was off! I was extremely ticked. And sad. And mad. But, it only stayed out until about 10:00. We then headed off to Bolivar for church. Huge crowd today, several college student visiting. One, Paul, is SBU alumni, and a professional musician who has toured with Monk & Neagle and Shawn McDonald. It was great to have him playing behind me. One of the adults shared about his recent trip to Vanuatu, and, man, do I want to go on another mission trip. I'll have to wait at least until next year, when I'll be able to drive to meetings. I guess I'll have to wait.

Until Next Post,

the {{screaming*penguin}}

A Letter And A Legacy

2007-01-26T14:16:00.000-06:00

Hey Everyone,

This is an excerpt from a letter written somewhere around 100 AD to a guy named Diognetus. What a name. Anyway, here it is:

"They live in the flesh, but they are not governed by the desires of the flesh. They pass their days upon earth, but they are citizens of heaven. Obedient to the laws, they yet live on a level that transcends the law. Christians love all men, but all men persecute them. Condemned because they are not understood, they are put to death, but raised to life again. They live in poverty, but enrich many; they are totally destitute, but possess an abundance of everything. They suffer dishonor, but that is their glory. They are defamed, but vindicated. A blessing is their answer to abuse, deference their response to insult. For the good they do they receive the punishment of malefactors, but even then they rejoice, as though receiving the gift of life.

They are attacked by the Jews as aliens, they are persecuted by the Greeks, yet no one can explain the reason for this hatred."

What a legacy.

Until Next Post,

the {{screaming*penguin}}

We Got The Power!

2007-01-25T11:43:00.000-06:00

Hey Everyone,
We got power! Remember when I said in the last post that our estimate was 4-8 days? We got power the evening of that post! It was so unexpected, we were all just staring at the lights like a bunch of dummies trying to figure out what was going on. Just pathetic, us cavepeople. You know what (the) Paul said about being content in all circumstances? In all humility, I think I’m getting better at it. Through the adventures of the house-building catastrophe, the RV/tent days, a week without showers in Alaska, and an eleven day power-outage, I’ve gotten a half-way decent resume, huh? By the way, the next time you're bored, call 972.504.6270. It's the "Rejection Hotline." And girls, if some creepy guy asks for your phone number, give him that one. I've had 4 girls give it to me so far, but hey, I'm trying.
Until Next Post,
the {{screaming*penguin}}

Dramatic...

2007-01-23T14:18:00.001-06:00

Just for a moment, imagine in your mind this: A typical family, 3 children, a mother, and a father. The mother is putting the final touches on the meal. The father's trying to review his day. The two younger children are over in a corner, fighting. The oldest child, a friendly lad of 15 is helping in the most perfect way. Suddenly, as they begin to congregate at the table, the lights flash off. They come back on. They flash off. And there they stay. Who is this family, you might ask.
MINE, dang it!
We've been out of power since the 12th! Trees are down everywhere, and my family and I have made over $1000 cleaning up yards in Bolivar. You know what they say about character, It's what comes out when you're squeezed. I've been squeezed a little. My tendency is to want to run away, to get out of the mess, like spending the night w/ friends and stuff. I know I need to persevere thru the tuff stuff. I've had a ton of time to read, and picked up Rich Mullin's biography: An Arrow Pointing to Heaven. It's VERY highly recommended by me. It's not so much his life as much as it's his thoughts on life, as he told thru his incredible lyrics.
I don't have a lot of time here, so I'll sum up. We're ok, good on heat, ok on water, bad on power, but the worst case scenario is 8 days, and we can do that. Pray for me.
Until Next Post,
the {{screaming*penguin}}

Halo Suit

2007-01-16T17:03:00.000-06:00

Hey Everyone,

This is just a random picure. I'll be back later w/ a soul-chilling account of our ice storm catastrophe.

zach

This And That...

2007-01-10T17:37:00.000-06:00

Hey Everyone,
Again, not a lot has happened… Just a normal school week routine. I haven’t even left the house! Someone rescue me! But, that is the price I have to pay to live in the country, miles from friends, libraries, and the mall. I suppose it’s worth it though. Lately, we haven’t even been able to go in the woods, since our neighbors spotted and heard a mountain lion. I’m ready for the darn thing to go somewhere else so I can go out and hike, and camp, and think, and goof off in the woods again.
One interesting thing, my neighbors and co have decided to start a homeschool newspaper which I may have the opportunity to write for. I don’t really take very much time at all in writing this blog, so it’s not that great literature wise. Well, what I’m trying to say is, this is far from my best work, so don’t laugh.
On the health-watch, my little brother is now sick, and I fear I’ll be the next to fall to this terrible plague.
Until Next Post,
the {{screaming *penguin}}

Alack and Forsooth...

2007-01-07T17:23:00.000-06:00

Hey Everyone,
Alack and forsooth, not a lot hath happened. Just a few minor touches on the house, a lot of guitar-playing, and church. Church was good though, we ended up discussing the difference between loving God and trusting Him. The church has found it's a lot easier to love God, rather than trust Him. Trusting takes a lot more faith, and it's harder. Often, we love God, but just to make ourselves feel better. We're using God, in a negative way. Trusting is far deeper than that. I think the person I most relate too in the bible would be the guy that said, "Lord, I believe; but help my unbelief."
Until Next Post,
the {{screaming *penguin}}

Happy Yew Near!

2007-01-05T11:59:00.000-06:00

Hey Everyone,
Happy New Year! My little brother, Luke, who hates change of any kind, is dismayed. He says "2006 was good. Let’s just keep it." Poor kid. We had a party with a few close friends and Sarah O, back from Alaska. Very fun. We had the fastest Nertz game to 100 ever. I barely pulled of the win. The life of the party, my friend Tyler G, had to leave at 7, so it wasn’t the most exciting party. Before he left, he managed to squeeze himself and Luke into one pair of flannel PJ bottoms, one person in each leg. I think we got it on film. I sure hope so anyway.

As for New Year’s Resolutions, I’m going to try and not look out for #1 so much, and be more considerate of others. And to not be so opinionated, being more open to other people’s views and opinions. And the biggest one, I need to lose some weight.

Sarah O was here all week, so I really procrastinated school, and now I’m paying for it. I had a biology test that I took last night, and it didn’t go well. But it’s not graded yet, so there’s still hope.

Oh yeah, we got our new basketball goal up and having been playing like crazy. We hadn’t had one since we moved out of the last house, 3 years ago. It’s great to have one again. Last night, my little sister, Olivia, came down with a really nasty stomach virus, but she's feeling better now. As if that needed to be put on the Internet.

Spiritually speaking, I've been reading Ecclesiastes. It's kind of depressing but it has a great message. The first 8 chapters are about how everything is futility. It's all worthless. At the end, it says that the only thing worth anything is God. My life isn't like that. I consider a lot of things important, that really aren't anything in the grand scheme of things. I'll be working on that.

You’ve probably seen those posters that have a nice, inspirational quote and a picture of a landscape or an eagle or something. Well, there’s a great website that spoofs those, and calls them "de-motivators": www.despair.com . They do an excellent job. For great laughs, visit the site and check them out.
Until Next Post,
The {{screaming *penguin}}

Kitchen Ceiling

2006-12-30T17:30:00.000-06:00

Hey Everyone,
When I say "Hey Everyone," it kinda makes me wonder who "Everyone" is... Anyway, I haven't left the house since the last post, so there's not a whole lot to talk about. The biggest thing: My dad and I finished the ceiling in our kitchen. For those of you who don't know, our house has been in the process of being built for about 2 1/2 years. Before we did the ceiling it was bare beams and you could see all the electrical stuff. Not good. Now it's 12" wide white pine. It looks great.
It's my dad's birthday today. We're going to give him a pair of super-durable house shoes and a calender of extraordinary chickens. He loves chickens. A lot.
Tomorrow we'll be having a New Year's Party. Our friend Sarah O, who now lives in Alaska, will be coming down to join us.
Sarah's grandma has been going to the neighborhood junior college for about 20 years now. She's 94. This year, she decide she wanted a degree. To get the degree, she had to do 30 hours at a 4 year school. She did and now has the degree. She will be in the Guinness World Book of Records as the oldest person to graduate college. Also, Jay Leno has called and wants to have her on. There's my claim to fame: I know someone in the record books...
I don't have any deep thoughts on Christianity today. Sorry. I'm sure they're not that great, but it's something to think about.
I've been thinking about making about starting another blog, and on this one I would post worship songs, complete with chords and stuff. Let me know what you think.
Until Next Post
the {{screaming *penguin}}

What A Christmas!

2006-12-28T11:24:00.000-06:00

Hey Everyone,
Man, what a great Christmas! I finally found out what was in the big box! A small sleeping bag. It’s a great bag, comfort-rated to 20 degrees. I can’t wait to try it out. The last time I went camping in the cold, I had to take 3 sleeping bags, and dress like I was going to Antarctica. No more of that.
Also I got:
A backpacker guitar, custom finished by my dad
2 Todd Agnew CDs
2 Mercy Me CDs
Disciple’s old CD (very hard…)
Sport’s Illustrated: St Louis cardinal’s commemorative edition
Matt Redman’s old CD
Devotional Book
Aeropostle dress shirt
$25
Muscle car calendar
Battlefield of the Mind (book)
A Man After God’s Own Heart (book)
Swiss Army Knife
2 AR Razorbacks T-shirts
2 I Love Lucy DVDs

There’s probably some more stuff, but I can’t remember it. We spent a night at my Uncle John’s in Little Rock. That was probably the funnest thing. Lots of time with my cousins, and a huge breakfast when we woke up. Nothing better. Breakfast, mmmm. The rest of the time was spent at my mom’s parent’s, wishing their were kids our age, and a computer. While we were there, my dad, who surfs the Internet a lot, found plans on how to build a guitar out of a cigar box! It's almost done. Pretty crazy. Anyway, it was a great Christmas. And now, the New Year is rapidly approaching, and 2006 was just a blur.

On the new Todd Agnew CD I got there’s a great song called My Jesus. It’s about how "un-churchy" and un-legalistic Jesus was. The chorus goes

"Cause my Jesus bled and died for my sins
He spent His time with thieves and sluts and liars
He loved the poor and accosted the rich"

The Pharisees were as near to perfect as mankind can get, and the grace of Jesus’ teachings nearly drove them nuts. It went against their beloved legalism. He wouldn’t fit in their "God Box" without pushing some of their laws out.

One of the verses:
"Cause my Jesus would never be accepted in my church
The blood and dirt on His feet might stain the carpet
But He reaches for the hurting and despises the proud
I think He’d prefer Beale St. to stained glass crowd"

I fear some Christians have fallen into the same legalistic, stuffy, churchy, "religious" routine that the Pharisees loved so much. But those are just my thoughts, think for yourself.

Until Next Post,

the {{screaming *penguin}}

2006-12-20T14:09:00.000-06:00

Hey Everyone,
If you don't have a lot of time on your hands, skim thru the first part of this post and skip down to the bottom. It's slightly less boring.

I've been getting a little bit ahead on school this week, laying around, reading, and wondering what the heck is in that big box. Sorry if I keep going back to that, I'm sure it seems pretty eccentric.

One of our elderly friends, Mr Hunt, recently chose us as the recipients of several tons of Christmas decorations that he's accumulated over the years. Yesterday, he was over at our house, stuffing new batteries in all of the cheesy, dusty, sharmy, gaudy little knick-knacks. My dad's about to pull all of his hair out. But my mom is always saying "It's what love would do." Nothing like a little tough love. Very tough.

I've been reflecting lately, on how much the human race loves the idea of revolution and rebellion. It's amazing to me, looking thru history, all the different governments and countries that have been tossed into turmoil over a mob's desire to rebel and have a "better" government. Jesus' revolution was not like that. His started with 12 poor men. It has spread across the world. It's not just another rebellion, either, it's a revolution of the heart.

I'm almost positive I won't be on the computer until after Christmas, so Merry Christmas To All.

Until Next Post,
the {{screaming*penguin}}

Merry Christmas, Curiosity, Camping, Caroling...

2006-12-18T14:58:00.000-06:00

Hey Everyone,
Merry Christmas! It's coming, and fast. I'm still stoked. There's a huge box under our tree for me, and I have no idea whatsoever what it is. It's driving me nuts.
Friday night, me and my friends Sam and Jonah camped in the cold. They put me in charge of food. That was their first mistake. I took the easy way out and did canned soup. That was seemingly simple enough, but I forgot to bring spoons, so we just slurped it out of the bowls w/ our faces. I made the mistake of telling my neighbor, also named Sam, that we were camping. He came out and scared us. Surprise, surprise. That's a long story so I won't go into it here. Before "sleeping" we watched The Two Towers on Jonah's portable DVD player. That was a new camping experience. My friend's tent wasn't very water-proof. It was more along the lines of kind of water-resistant. Rather damp. We woke up and hiked to the house for an incredible breakfast cooked by my dad's mom and sister. They and their families stayed until about 3, helping cut, split, and stack a HUGE pile of wood. Later that evening, we went caroling with our neighbors and some friends. It was followed by a party. Very fun. I probably won't be on to post for a while, so
Until Next Post,
the {{screaming *penguin}}

It's a Wonderful Life in 30 Seconds!

2006-12-13T13:37:00.001-06:00

Hey,
If you get 30 seconds, check this out... http://www.angryalien.com/1204/wonderful_lifebuns.asp

Not Sure What to Call This One...

2006-12-13T13:03:00.000-06:00

Hey Everyone,
Sorry it’s been so long. Our snow is gone. We did the math, and clocked my friend Sam going 29 mph down the sledding hill! The sledding ended when he split his cheek open in a violent wreck. The snow went as quickly as it came. It was 30s one week, then 50s the next, and today we’ll have a hi of 63. I just love Missouri weather. If I was going to be a weatherman, I’d definitely go to Arizona or somewhere, where I could just say “Hot and dry, for the next 4 years, with a slight chance of rain, folks.”
I've recently finished an incredible book called "Under the Overpass." It's a true about these two Christian guys who chose to become homeless people for nearly a year. They traveled all over the country. It gave me a new way to see homeless people. I highly recommend it. Their website: www.undertheoverpass.com
Christmas is coming, as if everyone didn’t already know that.
I’m just about sick of hearing “The Jingle Bell Rock” every time I turn around. That song is really, really annoying.
Back to Christmas: I’m really looking forward to it. I was thinking I might post some sappy Christmas story, but there are way too many of those out there already. As you can tell, nothing much has been happening around here, but I felt I should post anyway. Well, that about does it. If you made this far in this boring post, you're amazing.
Until Next Post,
the {{screaming*penguin}}

Deep Thoughts...

2006-12-06T14:54:00.000-06:00

Hey Everyone,
This is an excerpt from one of my favorite author's blog. The author is Ted Dekker. He writes incredible novels, a few of them modern, adrenaline-laced versions of Jesus' parables. Some of his metaphors are a little distant, and sometimes hard to make out, but they're well worth the time. I don't know how many of you will be interested in this, but I thought it was very true.

"It’s increasingly amazing to me that so many people who call themselves “Christians”, so often betray their conformity to a religion rather than to a faith, and remain mostly blind to the fact that the Rabbi named Jesus himself railed against those so faithful to a religion rather than to a faith in his day. The Pharisees lived squarely in the BOX of legalism yet many today are trapped in that same grave Jesus referred to. As humans we have a tendency to want an explanation for everything, one that our own frail reasoning can comfortably grasp, and we support that tendency by demonizing anything that is not clear. The teachers that Jesus scolded had everything down to the clipping of their fingernails in perfect order. But our ability to understand God is not meant to be so succinct -- after all, we are human and he is God and who in their right mind can understand the mind of God? His ways are beyond us, as the word emphatically states. He pursues us with love more than with reason."

Visit his website at www.teddekker.com

A Close Call

2006-12-05T13:48:00.000-06:00

Hey Everyone,
Yet another dangerous and exciting happening at the Caddy home. As most of you know, the roof on our house is VERY steep. It's metal. It's slick. Olivia, my little sister, was playing in the front yard, when all of the snow that had accumulated on the roof slid off at a high speed. If one of the larger pieces had hit her, it probably would've been fatal. But, God was good, and the closest one landed just over 8" away from her. Just another near-death experience at the Caddy home. It looks like the snow is going to stick around (no pun intended) for a while.
Until Next Post
the {{screaming *penguin}}

Thanksgiving, Snow, Bruises, and Donuts...

2006-12-03T16:32:00.000-06:00

Hey Everyone,
Sorry it’s been so long. Thanksgiving weekend was amazing, at least weather wise. I was comfortable in shorts and a T-shirt! I was thankful for that. My uncle’s family spent one night, all 6 of them. Very interesting, to say the least.
We’ve been snowed in since Thursday! First, we got a couple of inches of ice, which made for incredibly fast sledding. Thursday night we got 8 inches of powder. At first, it wasn’t very fast, but it had picked up pretty nice by Saturday. Some of the neighbor’s friends came over and we had a massive snowball fight. It was great. At one point, my team was losing and the opposing side was bombing us from behind their seemingly impenetrable fort, which I thought was made of snow. I was determined to break thru. I did, and found out the fort was made of sheets of ice. I have a few large bruises from that encounter. I’m generally just sore all over from sledding. Earlier this afternoon, mom let me do donuts in the front yard with our Toyota Camry. I did so until I got stuck. It took us about 30 minutes to get un-stuck… oops. I’d like to have a bunch of pictures on here, but I haven’t figured that out yet. I can’t believe how close Christmas is. This year has gone by incredibly fast. So much has happened. But God has been faithful thru it all.
Until Next Post,
the {{screaming *penguin}}

Great Lyrics

2006-11-17T13:48:00.000-06:00

Hey Everyone,

This song is so true. Difficultly true. It applies to some stuff I've recently worked thru w/ my parents. Kutless has really impressed me as of late. Their lyrics are strong, even if they look like just another grungy rock band. Check out their website at http://www.kutless.com/

Better For You

By Kutless

My decision cannot be put off again

I see the right choice but my heart is filled with dread

It all seems backwards in my head, my head

I know it seems too wrong to be right

This way is so much harder to fight

But in the end I know it is true

This way is better, it's better for you

Choose a little pain and gain a life with joy

Accepting pleasure now will earn a life of pain

It all seems backwards in my head, my head

Sometimes I wonder why it's this way

When it's done the burden is gone

This discomfort will be taken away

As soon as it's over, it's over for me

I know it seems too wrong to be right

This way is so much harder to fight

But in the end I know it is true

This way is better

It's better for you, for you

Until Next Post,

the {{screaming *penguin}}

Now That's Sadly Pathetic!

2006-11-15T13:42:00.000-06:00

Q: If you had to name a baby after a food, which name would you choose?
A: Most popular pick: Peaches
This will be distressing news to Peaches Geldof, 17, daughter of rocker Sir Bob Geldof, and a rising British celebrity in her own right. Peaches - full name Peaches Honeyblossom Michele Charlotte Angel Vanessa Geldof - has openly criticized people who saddle kids w/ silly monikers and sympathized w/ Gwyneth Paltrow's baby, Apple. Peaches says her own "ridiculous" name has haunted her since birth. By the way, her sister's name are Little Pixie, Fifi Trixibelle, and Heaven Hiraani Tiger Lily. Whatever happened to John, or Mary, or Sarah?
I'm here at my dad's office, waiting until 3 when I go to some friends' house to play guitar. It's one of those days you want to sleep all day and wake up when the sun comes back out. But we need the rain. Sorry about that first post being so outrageously depressing. I was just in a blue funk.
Until Next Post,
the {{screaming *penguin}}

First Day On The Blog

2006-11-08T14:48:00.000-06:00

Hey Everyone,
It's the day after election day. I'm kind of sad. Scratch that, I'm very sad. The most disappointing thing was the passing of Amendment 2, which legalizes cloning in the state of MO. That's discouraging. Talent lost. The Libs have control of the house, and I'm not in the know yet about the Senate. Very sad. I think they (the Liberal democrats) won b/c they were running slightly less liberal people, and the conservatives weren't being conservatives. I must say I'm kind of worried about national security, and all that stuff that libs are weak on.
On a less depressing note, I just figured out how to burn CD's on the computer, and have been doing so quite a bit. One of the first I burned was Kutless's new CD "Hearts of the Innocent." The title track is about how society today and the schools and the media and everything kids are being exposed to day in and day out is crushing their innocent hearts. It makes me very glad I'm homeschooled. And the music is great too. Pretty simple tho, I've already picked out a few. I had a guitar lesson yesterday, and learned how to play one of my favorites: "Stairway to Heaven." Most songs sound really great till you learn them, and then they're not nearly as good to listen to, b/c I know how easy they are. It's kind of sad, how little true originality and talent there is today. So, by the time I tell everyone about my new blog, this will all be old news, but that's ok.
I'm at the library, and my session just expired, so perhaps I'll be back soon, perhaps I won't.
Until then,
{{the screaming *penguin}}